June 3, 2014
Please forgive me for not communicating in so long; I truly feel I’ve neglected you.
And, that’s not fair to you and our beautiful boys. Your letters smell so good. I miss you all so much.
It’s gotten hard to write anything, trying to discover myself. But, I never want you to think i’m forgetting about you, ever. I love you so much it’s hard to believe how hard I’ve made your life. I wait for our second chance, so I might get things right. You have always been a beautiful woman, even without makeup. I’m just glad you kept me around. Let’s get to your letters…
I did think ….wanted to help. But, I also understand that people talk empty words. So, I’m guessing that’s what they were. I’m not worried about them helping as much as just trying to get more family involved. It means so much to people in here that others outside get involved. You have been the light God has sent me, and God never gets things wrong. I just have to allow God to work out His plan.
I’m still waiting for the money to get here. I’m afraid my cousin forgot it again, so I’m going to write her and ask her to send me books 2 and 3 of Game of Thrones.
August 4, 2014
It was great to see you and our younger son. He is growing up so fast. You grow more beautiful each time I see you. God is working all around and through you. I love talking with you about anything at all when you’re here; to listen to you both talk about whatever pops into your minds; to hear your laugh, they get to hear it everyday. I enjoy what little time we get to spend together.
Remember that you are complete as long as God is with you. That’s truly what we seek. I know it feels lonely, but know that God is with you and you are never alone. I’m glad you’re able to have some quiet time for yourself while the boys are at boy scout camp. I’m never alone. EVER! I think having quiet time alone is something I would enjoy again. I only have a window in my door with guards walking by every few minutes, and inmates. I hope the boys will enjoy this time, these school years, they are important ones. Before they know it, they will be gone.
Your letters smell so good (do I say that every time?). I miss a woman’s smell, your smell, so much.
8-6-14 Again, I haven’t received any money from my cousin, but I’m not complaining, just talking. I’ve tried to cut back even more on my eating, as I really want to lose this belly fat for you. I work out hard again an hour every day, and then run around playing volley ball or soccer. I have so much more energy, and I run even faster than I did before. I went out and played soccer, and they always put me on goalie; they said I disappointed them. And, I told them (Latino inmates) that they’d been disappointing me for some time. I’m learning to speak up for myself.
I’m doing well; my health is improving, not so much pain anymore. The guy I worked out with went to medium, so I’m not doing impact workouts like I was. I no work out with another guy, and he is more on form. I think this will work better for me.
Rochelle, I don’t hate how you spend time on the animals and farming, I just didn’t ever see the value in them that you do. I regret that. You have such a wonderful vision on things and I plan to develop mine better when I get out of here. I want to look into your eyes everyday, but I have to close my eyes to see your face, and sometimes it’s not clear. I want to hold you for more than a minute. I love you. I give so much praise to God for such a great woman such as you. You are truly a gift from God. I love you will all my heart.