You have brought me out of a pit

12/19/13
I feel God’s presence even more, as I work to get past feelings of negativity and doom.
I now see things in a different light. There is a new perspective and a way of looking
at what is sightly to God, not my own selfishness.

I will start a draft for the CPS complaint you told me to write so they are forced to see
the results of their falsified and incomplete findings. Guilford County must be made to rectify their illegal and unconstitutional decisions. They just say whatever they like on reports and then alter the truth to meet their own agendas of increasing their bonuses and trying to justify their funding, instead of looking fully at what is happening in the entire picture. They are never forced to see the repercussions caused by their mistakes and lack of training, even altering what they report to make themselves seem in a better light, while other children are receiving no help that they so sorely need.

They actually gave us a Christmas bad today – with ramen noodles, some chips, a rice krispy treat, a Snickers bar, and a Slim Jim type stick, as well as a granola bar. To some this would seem laughable, but to those in isolation who are not allowed to purchase ANY extra food items, it’s a huge treat!

I got your card today, and it reaffirmed what my humanness needed – a confirmation of love. I ask your forgiveness, you’ve been so strong! Please forgive my unbelief, how could I ever doubt? Your cards and letters have brought me out of a pit where I continue to throw myself and hide. My whole heart melted reading your card! With God’s strength I will build my self worth.
I thank God for a wife such as you! Even as they’ve torn the whole back off of the envelope due to your colorful stickers of angels on it.

Being indigent, I have to make my meals draw out longer, and I try to win as many stamps as I can, and hopefully they will give me a pair of shower shoes. Oh, and I have to send home most of my court papers and old mail as I am toting around so much stuff, and I can get in trouble. Just put the mail up, and get it out as you wish to write a book about all of this. It would make a great romance novel!

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Letter to the Office of Executive Clemency of North Carolina, Pat McCrory

YOU COULD MAKE A DIFFERENCE SO AN INNOCENT MAN DOESN’T DIE FROM MEDICAL NEGLECT WHILE IN PRISON – PLEASE READ
please email your support to our cause here – clemency@nc.gov
 Dear Gov. McCrory,

You have the power to save my husband from abuse and torture, medical neglect, and possible death of a wrongly accused American citizen.

The innocent often do not have a voice, and we need assistance, as what has been happening at Marion Correctional in Marion, North Carolina has gone silent long enough. My husband could die.

My husband has recently had a surgery that was bare minimum in its procedure and consequent care, in isolation in a prison where he does not belong.

I am afraid that he now has an internal infection where the huge 5″ incision was performed and has closed the infection inside. He has not been allowed to bathe daily, and had no way to clean his wounds or to care for himself properly since the surgery on October 15. He gets subgrade food that is not nourishing him, and he almost died on the day of the surgery.

I am writing a formal complaint that will be emailed today to several House of Representatives, as well as to the DOC in Raleigh, and to other government officials. He could die under these conditions, as it has been almost six weeks (Oct.15 surgery) and he has symptoms that would indicate that he has an internal infection that could lead to his becoming septic.

He almost died the same day as the surgery, as he stood in handcuffs on his arms and ankles not even 10 hours after the surgery to relieve himself, and the guards would not even allow him to sit on the toilet, but he had to stand, shackled. As a result from the strain, he began to bleed continuously. By a miracle of God, as doctor and nurses could not stop it, the blood pouring out of his body stopped.

He wasn’t even allowed an overnight stay for observation. He has received no further medical assistance to help him heal , such as extra or special food rations, ability to receive vitamin or other supplements for possible anemia, etc. He cannot even sit in the sun to get much needed fresh air and healing from the effects of the sun.

Please understand that the doctor at Marion, as well as his assistant have been recently ‘moved’ due to this type of medical neglect. There is also an inmate currently whose incision was reopened due to his hernia becoming infected, and he had to be internally cleansed from the lack of care. 

Daniel was wrongfully imprisoned in 2011 in Guilford County, with no evidence against him, a threatened jury, and I was not allowed to testify on his behalf, as they threatened to throw me in jail if I did, and we have two autistic boys, as well as my 85 year old mother, and there would be no one left to care for them. The jury was threatened by Judge Stewart Albright, after three days of deliberation where they could not come to a unanimous guilty verdict.

It was a hung jury, yet on that Friday in January 2011, he brought in the jury after lunch, at 1:15pm and screamed at this panel of older, tired people, threatening to keep them there indefinitely if they did not make a unanimous finding.

At 3:30 pm they walked in and found my husband guilty of 13 counts of sexual related felonies, and 10 years a piece, railroading his sentence into 130 years, with NO evidence, no forensic expertfor the defense, and no testimony from myself, with all of the records of therapy for my step kids, how his ex wife left the youngest son on our doorstep, saying we could ‘have’ him, and the signs she had groomed the oldest step son, if he was not also molested by her boyfriend, as well. This same child, now 20, had sexually molested both my boys. We had tried to get him hsopitalized, but there were no beds at the time I first suspected the sexual abuse, and we were on a waiting list with intensive in home mental services.

My testimony would have ruined Assistant DA Maury A. Hubbard’s case against Daniel Sr. Our story has yet to be told, but I am working diligently, but his health issues have put a stop to that for now.

My mother’s family, as well as us, have lived in Alamance County or Guilford for many decades, my mother was born in Alamance County. I am a third generation graduate of Elon College, and was a Dean’s List Student. We are hard working American citizens who always paid our taxes and tried to make a difference in the world.

You can be a voice for the innocent where it has been silenced by these District 18 officials. They falsely ruined my career as a day care administrator, and our families, putting children back in the presence of a perpetrator, if not two.

Wake Forest Innocence Clinic has been preparing Daniel’s case this year to see what can be done to get him out and clear his name, and our reputations.

I am asking all those I email and mail to call to the Marion Correctional Center or better yet, to the Raleigh branch of the DOC, Mr. Solomon’s office, the director, to ask that my husband be allowed to :

  • be transported to see Dr. Cope in Burlington, NC for  unbiased, third party review and possible care plan,
  • that his A charges be dropped, as the isolation  sentence is a farce and created just as punishment as he and five others  were being brave enough to beg for HVAC repair when there was no air all  week in their unit while the rest of the prison had air for most of the  week of Aug.31,
  • and since he has now served 84 days of isolation  from his peers in both admin seg and now ICON total – both are isolation ,  that his abuse and torture be stopped.
  • that you use your wisdom as governor to use your  executive power As the Governor of NC, to look over my complete documents,  and to see the racial discrimination, the profiling, the prosecutorial  misconduct by Mr. Hubbard, as well as the purposeful breach to a fair trial that Judge Albright commited by allowing Mr. Hubbard III to commit     such unconstitutional acts, as can be shown by reading the 16 page     grievance to the State Bar that they have not ruled on yet. It is quite     forthcoming. He was not allowed an unbiased set of peers, as there were NO  Mexican Americans on the jury, either.

The first Amendment breach was so crucial to the false imprisonment being allowed to take place to Daniel.

A right to jury trial is granted to criminal defendants in order to prevent oppression by the Government. Those who wrote our constitutions knew from history and experience that it was necessary to protect against unfounded criminal charges brought to eliminate enemies and against judges too responsive to the voice of higher authority. The framers of the constitutions strove to create an independent judiciary but insisted upon further protection against arbitrary action. Providing an accused with the right to be tried by a jury of his peers gave him an inestimable safeguard against the corrupt overzealous prosecutor and against the compliant, biased, or eccentric judge. . . . [T]he jury trial provisions . . . reflect a fundamental decision about the exercise of official power–a reluctance to entrust plenary powers over the life and liberty of the citizen to one judge or to a group of judges. Fear of unchecked power . . . found expression in the criminal law in this insistence upon community participation in the determination of guilt or innocence.”48 – See more at:http://constitution.findlaw.com/amendment6/annotation04.html#sthash.2Wt7XyiO.dpuf

What our forefathers strove to prevent by creating this priceless amendment was carelessly trampled on by both Judge Albright who allowed the fiasco and encouraged the abuse, by Maury Hubbard III, who completely abandoned his code of ethics at the courthouse door, and to Sabrina Bailey, who allowed my husband to not recieve adequate counsel.

Looking at the false ICON charges:

The UN states that 30 days constitutes torture. He only feels fresh air or the sun once a week. He gets no extra food for a period of seventeen hours each day  as that is when they feed them supper, at 330 pm –  until 530 am the next morning, when they are served breakfast . They are not allowed to purchase any food as additional punishment, nor are they allowed to bathe daily, and cannot even purchase toothpaste. If they are allowed an hour of outside time once a week, they are lucky.

This clearly a breach of the 8th amendment, and something must be done to stop this treatment to an American born, formerly tax paying citizen (26%), who worked hard his entire life, living in North Carolina from age 7, having moved from Chicago.

I have an entire grievance, as well as a formal complaint discussing both issues in full- medical neglect and unconstitutionality of his isolation sentence, that will be emailed to you today, as soon as I transfer it from paper to computer.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

My husband created the mix that covered most of the good highway roads in Guilford and Alamance County, working for APAC, and building the plant on 421 with only a high school education. He is a very smart, hard working Mexican American citizen.

I will send this story to every newspaper, representative of legislature, and non profit I can find over the next week until someone listens. Please do not let an innocent man die from neglect and torture, as he will die there if someone doesn’t help us soon.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.

Rochelle Long, power of attorney for Daniel Palacios, opus #1248101

$12. for an ounce of coffee?!? (24 stamps)

coffee

Now, I am in here six months, SIX, and can’t buy toothpaste. Forget coffee.

I got the ICON version of canteen today, 2 boxes or 12 cough drops, 2 sets of ear

plugs, and 3 batteries, as well as 17 postage stamps. I ordered the stamps in

the hopes of trading for some coffee, as we certainly can’t buy that in seg! My ‘neighbor’ wants 24 stamps for one and a half ounces of instant coffee maker. That’s IF he fishes it to me. I will have to wait until he decides to do so. Here is a list of what inmates in ICON can ‘order’. Note: NO FOOD.

ointment   menthol   lozenges   antifungal cream   pimple lotion   Blistex Noxzema   ear plugs   batteries   shower shoes   Braun Razor   replacement blades   foils   a plastic watch (worth about $6. )for $9.17.

Oh stamps, and denture cream, which I will need if I am never going to be allowed to buy toothpaste..lolol…if we don’t laugh, we’ll drown in tears in here…

God, I hope my cousin was able to order that food package before I was sentenced with ICON. I just wish she would write me back to let me know what was going on with her. I need to get my family’s addresses and phone numbers because when they put me in here the guards took my address book and threw it away. Now I can’t get in touch with anyone. Not that I can call before February, but I could at least write some of my family members up north…trusting in God…He’s in control.

10-26-13

I have just lain around today, not wanting to move much. I took a shower and now feel better to try and write. Getting a bath every other day doesn’t help, but the swelling is very painful, even above the incision, and the area is very hard. I am still getting wheeled to and from, but the weighted handcuffs don’t help.

I still didn’t get my coffee after paying my stamps, so I better get it tonight.  I won’t have but one stamp left, so I want to get this out tomorrow, and then I ‘ll have to wait until Friday to buy more.

Oh, now my neighbor admits it was only 10 stamps for one and a half ounces of coffee grounds. It was 20 for the whole bag, so he gave me six stamps back.  Is this insane, or what?

Jude 22, “And of some have compassion, making a difference.”

10-24-13

Can you see how important it is for someone like me to be be informed in here?

Not being able to even look at a t.v. keeps us in the dark about so many things,

especially world events.

They did that to the monks in Tibet, dangling the idea that they might get to read a paper, giving false hope, keeping them along…

I don’t even know who won last Sunday’s race or what now has happened with the Sprint cup series points.

I didn’t hear the race and didn’t get a newspaper until Thursday this week.

Monday’s would’ve had all about what happened in the sports’ world.

I guess I won’t get my trade down the hall until tomorrow. I would have liked to eat it while listening to the game…”Go panthers”…It doesn’t start until 8:30 tonight.  I don’t know what I’ll do on Sunday unless the race comes on, as I would listen to Sunday night football that night.

I didn’t know I had an influence, but they must not be wanting me to

Never underestimate how the little things you do show love...

Never underestimate how the little things you do show love…

spread mine…lol…Jude 22, “And of some have compassion, making a difference.”..

but, God has turned this torture into a way to get closer to Him. Can you please find me some bible study courses? I stopped doing the NIV studies, as they don’t always have all of the original verses. And, anything else you see that I could study through the mail that might be free. Please bombard me with different with all types of mail so I will have things to read and do. It’s starting to get so bland in here…

In here, that can make or break you

I love you so much; your beauty abounds these walls, this space between us.

Pray about what you do daily with our children, and even your mom; she is a part of this whole thing. She has suffered greatly from the loss of my income and assistance with all of the day to day living decisions. Reading the book you bought, and the bible has helped me to stay sane – are you still reading it a little each day?

I didn’t have to get the charge that I received, but my case worker did nothing to advocate for me, or to talk about how I’ve never caused trouble or been a problem my three years so far. But, she is just like the rest, sitting around, doing as little as possible while on the clock. Our super will be retiring soon, and there isn’t anyone to take his place right now. I’m so blessed to have you here for me. So many have no one at all to speak out for them, or to help, and when in here, that can make or break you.

10/24/13

Hey, I got a paper again today. It has been pushed under my door, so I guess when the officer reads it and decides to give it to me, then I can get it.

I know you don’t care about this stuff, but the Panthers play against the Tampa Bay Bucs. Carolina is 3-3 while the Bus are 0-6. But, they still play a dangerous game that C better be ready for. This would help them in the conference, and let them stay in the wild card playoffs, unles the Saints started losing a lot of games….

I feel much better today. It doesn’t fell quite as bad now. The incision doesn’t look that great, but I don’t still think it will come apart, I hope! I’m still staying still in bed most of the time, so I won’t aggravate it. I think most of my worry was that it sort of burned and leaked after the doctor took the staples out. It doesn’t burn too much now, but it does have a sharp throbbing, like a knife. The mesh is supposed to stop huring inside after about six weeks, but I can still feel it.

I really enjoyed your letter, though it was short, but to get it in less than a week was really good. I know I most likely won’t get another one this week.

They’ve moved some men around this week. There were eight of us in this dorm out of 24 people. They well all moved to A block because the other areas were filled. I hope to stay as I still need this handicap room for a few more weeks. If my cousin didn’t order my package before the ICON date, then they won’t let me have my Christmas package. People outside don’t realize how important it is that they do things if they can to help us, like ordering things, writing, sending a card or calling to check on us if they haven’t heard from us in a while. Time goes by so quickly for those outside, and it can be a month with no word before you know it. It makes it very hard in here, with so little to keep us occupied or to help ease our minds.

I still have a few things from the last order this year, but am out of coffee, which would really help me, as it is so cold. We can’t get any unless we already had it in regular. I did hold on to a box of tea from last Christmas, and that has been such a blessing since I’ve been sent here to seg.

We have no way to get any canteen much, and we already do without so much. I hoped to get the

injustice, hope, faith, God

Every winter, you’d be like a squirrel, hoarding away extra food during my lay offs.

coffee, peanut butter and the cappicinos the most, as the capp reminds me of how you woule spoil me on weekends and make we those special coffees that we would sit and drink on the porch, or at the table while the kids were still asleep. You bought me that HUGE cup from the parkway trip, and I would drink every bit. I miss things like this the most. I also use it instead of a pack of cream and sugar, as it saves on my food supplies. You can trade in here, but you got the most with stamps, and without my stamps, I want to hold on to my food, as I am still so hungry.

I can remember how you’d take my Christmas bonus at the first of December and buy extra food for the pantry, as I would always be laid off due to the weather for at least 8-10 weeks each winter, and my checks would be cut in half. You were like a squirrel, packing flour, butter, extra items in every nook and cranny so we would at least have pintos, biscuits, soups, stews to help us to get by.

 

I feel much better today…

10-29-13

Dear Shel,

I re-read your last letter another time, because I didn’t get a letter this week. I noticed that you fear me

spirituality, injustice, relationships

If you don’t hear from me, it’s because my pens ran out of ink, and they won’t let me buy more in seg.

going to “ICON”, but I am already there. I should not be shipped to another camp unless

DOC decides to after my next hearing, so I will serve my seg time here. It should be six months of isolation, with another three in ‘close observation’ because they are ‘afraid’ I might rile up the inmates, even though all we did was refuse to go into our cells because it was sweltering after three days of no air circulation. I see in your letter where these types of things are happening to other inmates, some guys had their fans taken away, so they sat out and were all thrown in ICON, too. I couldn’t believe the story about the man who was written up one day for eating his whole apple, as apple seeds are considered ‘poison’ (God, the lengths they go to to torture us emotionally), so the next day he didn’t touch it, so he was written up again for ‘refusing to eat’. It is like that here, but not quite as bad. (http://solitarywatch.com/category/featured-posts/)

I got the visit forms because of the amount of pestering I did to the guards this week (lol), they will be in this letter, so you can finally change the address for you and the boys in time over the next two weeks, and hopefully they won’t give you any trouble trying to set up future visits. I know you won’t have any more extra gas money until the end of the month after next week’s visit, so this is  a good time to do it.

I feel much better today. It doesn’t even hurt much. I will still wait for about four weeks before exercising again. For now, I just walk around in my room, and lift my legs up to stretch them out, as well as my stomach muscles. The surgeon wants to see me next week. And, yes, you were surprised as to why they didn’t know before the surgery how bad the hernia was because they didn’t even x-ray the area! The doctor had no idea I was in such bad shape because he just performed a short exam like a physical, nothing like what would have happened if I had been home. It should have been repaired a long time ago, and even then, it took them a month to decide to perform the surgery!

Your blog about us is great! It is just how I remember things. It was like that so many times. I want to tell you that you are my best friend.

I’ve written L(my cousin) several times without her replying. I asked her to order my Christmas package, because if she can do it before I go in front of the DOC then there’s a much better chance of my getting the package. If it’s ordered and the DOC gives me a harsh ‘sentence’ in ICON, then they don’t allow you to have anything hardly there. It is a very harsh sentence, with very little in the way of trying to make your life livable. I can’t order any food from canteen other than a very restricted item list once a week. I can’t have any normal pens, and getting a guard to sharpen your safety pencil is like pulling teeth here. I sent the last request to her on 10-10, so maybe I’ll hear something next week. They may not let me have the food package, even if she did, but I tried.

A and N look great. I can see that they have both lost weight. I can’t tell so much about their height. Take a picture with you standing next to them so I can see better. It has been so hard not to have them visit, but I don’t want them to see me in handcuffs and behind this glass. I think it is worse than when they can’t see me. We always hug so close and tight, if even for a few seconds, and I can scrub their faces with my goatee’ to help them remember me at least. This would just be too hard for the three of us right now. They need you to wrestle with them, since I can’t be there like we used to do, crawling in the floor, playing pile up with all five of the kids in the bed on Sunday morning, legs and arms flying, I’m surprised the bed didn’t break with seven of us in the bed, flailing and screaming! It would be so hard to get them ready for church after they all got wound up, jumping uup and down, yelling…but, boys need rough play. And, we just let V right in there, like a boy, too, because I wanted her to learn how to protect herself, to be strong enough to know how to get away if someone came after her at school, to not be afraid to protect hereself…

It is hard now, as a single mom, I know. Moms are softer and so busy they forget that part of boys – they need to kick and punch, roll and jump around, climb on things, take things apart; this is fun for them, and a necessary part of their development. Especially these boys because of puberty. It is hard without a man in the house, I know, mom had it rough too, after running from dad, trying to raise us with no child support, but she would take us outside, and play with me and Al. She would chop and kick at us, and sometimes it hurt like Hell, but we kept coming back, and she would wear us out, and then take us inside for ice cream. She did her best…sigh….just like you’re doing your best with our two boys. Try to remind them to do their ‘boy stuff’ outside. I think boxing would help N as it is more mental and physical. See if you can get a martial arts scholarship somewhere.

I started to lose consciousness, but it’s like I was floating

Oct. 15, 2013

Dear Love,

I’ve had my surgery, and it went well.                                              prison, relationships, spiritualtiy

But, during recovery I had to pee. They wouldn’t let me sit on the toilet.

I’m in handcuffs with shackles on my legs, and it was very difficult as I’d just come out of the surgery.

I felt something running down my leg, and thought I’d had an accident because of the aesthetics,

but it was blood – in rivulets, and it wouldn’t stop…

just like that time ten years ago when I had the toncillectomy and we were in the ER,

and you had the baby in the carrier, and you just sat in the floor and starting to pray, holding CW in your arms, I guess he was not quite two then, and all of the doctors were dabbing swabs, nurses yelling, my blood won’t stop, and you’re there, eyes closed, praying for me. I felt you there.

I tried to sit down on the bed, but the chains wouldn’t let me reach far enough, so I had to scoot and lean back while the nurses kept yelling and pushing buttons, screaming for help, pushing all manner of cloths, sponges; whatever against the incision, working to get the flow to stop. I started to lose consciousness, but it’s like I was floating.

They were all in slow motion as I lay on the bed, and they called the ER doctor back, getting ready to wheel me back to the OR and see what happened,

and then it just stopped.

Just like before. They decided to keep me there overnight, just in case something else happened. My nurse was a man, and he took very good care of me, and then a woman, who was also nice. She stayed by me, assuring me that she was going to stay right there, over and over. The next day, they shipped me back to the prison. Compared to prison, the hospital food was so good, and I can’t even imagine any more what your food tastes like, it’s been so long since I’ve had anything home made.

But, know that I am fine, and the Lord sent good people to take care of me in the surgery. They said that if that episode had happened at the prison, it would not have turned out so well because of now being in seg. It reminded me of mom being in and out of the hospitals so many times, and how she had to suffer all of that alone because I was in here. I knew Jesus had been with her, and also with me, as He has been so many other times in my life. I just never gave the praise to God for getting me out of so many fixes.

Anyway, I got wheeled up to the medical unit here at the prison, and everyone here knew what had happened to me. R is a big man, and a good guard, with common sense. He allowed me to get three pillows for some small comfort, as well as an extra sleeping mat. I couldn’t get a handicap cell, but I did get an ice pack, thank God, for the swelling. They thought the hernia was going to be about and inch long, but it ended up being more than 5. I had let it go too long because we had talked about not letting anyone cut on me here, but I just couldn’t go any longer with it hurting like it did.

My bed is as high as my hip, so it is very hard to manuever, and there are no handles anywhere to help me get up, and the toilet is very low. It hurts real bad, but I am making do. I am getting some pain meds, but they wear out every four hours. I can’t get in the bed, I have to step on top of two lunch trays, and I’m afraid I might fall. Then what?

They will be very slow to come in here, so I must be very careful. I need to sleep, I’ve been up over one day, but there is no way to get rest like this in here.

I’ll be alright. You know me. I sure do miss all of that attention you used to give me, and I’ve always whined when it comes down to pain. I love you, and I’ll be OK….