I was listening to the radio show Focus on the Family today.
It has been such a valuable tool in teaching me how to raise the children.
They have so many good ideas. That’s why I’ve been writing so much lately about the boys, because their faith needs to grow so God’s power can truly be amplified through our family as a unit.
I’ve asked the boys to forgive me for being a bad example sometimes, and to try not to follow in those steps. Today’s show talked about how important it is to be a good role model as men to our daughters so they will pick appropriate men later in life. It discussed how girls are affected by the lack of a healthy relationship with their dads, and how they expect their adult relationship to give them what their father didn’t or couldn’t. You used to do this to me, and we have talked about the importance of my being loving to my daughter in the past, and so I spent more time with her, on her home work, going to school and advocating for her when there were school issues, getting off work and going to her soccer games. It has become clear to me in listening to this broadcast that you take time and forgive your dad, because you did subconsciously punish me for how your father treated you, and took quite a bit out on me over the years. You know I only tell you this so you will release some of the pain in your heart over the past. I hope you will find these broadcasts somehow and listen to them.
The Sgt. has come next door as the guy keeps pushing the green button, which is only for medical emergencies. Apparently his legal mail is not going out, so there is now another guy there now, as well, which is really only to frustrate the other inmate further, not help. His legal matter is coming up in two weeks and he doesn’t have all of the information ready. It is obvious that he needs intensive mental health assistance, but the guards just play with him. They pepper sprayed him a few weeks ago, in the cell that I am now in. That could be why I have more upper respiratory tract infections and my nose bleeds some….things did calm down a little after they talked to him, but it looks like he will get written up for this. They gave him 3 last week. It is excessive, and will keep him in here for a long time, when he truly needs services.
I’ve prayed to the Lord for his entities to be released, as well as for all of us trying to endure this frigid coldness. Most of the men sleep in the floor in an attempt to get away from the cold, but I just can’t sleep next to the toilet like that, and we have no way to clean – but you know all of this. Why can’t they just fix the heating system? No one listens to our grievances here, so we just give up trying. The morale is so low, but I know must set examples. I told the other men that I have been sending grievances about the lack of heat.
Well, after several days of the lights being on past 11:30pm, they’ve cut the light off at 10 tonight. Maybe my grievance was read by someone?
I also know that I’m being led to write a grievance to CPS in my own words, but I just can’t sort it all out, and keep praying on how to word it in God’s time.
May God be with you in my absence.