I now have NO idea who had been treating me or if he was even a doctor



I tried to sleep, but can’t get more than two hours at a time, due to the constant slamming of the door.

The CO’s just let it slam, and I guess the deprivation of sound is really taking its toll, so it’s like a gun shot.

At 3, 4 and 5 a.m. and of course, all through the day, but it’s the early hours that truly affect me the most.

It would be so easy for them to fix the release to catch softer, but that is too much to ask.

AT 7:30 a.m., the guard came to take me to medical. He stood there and waited for me to pee, and then belly chained and shackled me up.

Upon arriving  I am introduced to a man that was actually Dr. McIntyre. This hasn’t been the man I’ve been seeing for the past few months.  I truly had no idea that this man, Labor was not the doctor. I don’t really even know who ‘Labor’ is, now. He never wore a name plate as this man before me now was. I have no idea who was treating me or if he had ANY credentials to do so.

The Dr. asked me questions, and then agreed that I needed more fiber. Then, he had me take some liquid (God only knows what that was), and he said it would be quick to help, but nothing happened. I laid down and waited, and waited. Finally, five hours later, some relief, but still a sharp pain opposite the hernia area. I’m afraid there is a blockage.

I went ahead and wrote a grievance about the door, and I think it must really be like PTSD because I actually jump when these doors slam. People need to know that this type of purposeful treatment is wrong. Why doesn’t PETA focus more on people – they could probably get a lot done…In the back of my head is pain, and in my temples. I think this is from sleep deprivation. I don’t understand why other inmates don’t fight more to get any justice or relief. These feelings keep intensifying and I stay focused on God, even through the pain and suffering.  I asked a couple of CO’s to please not slam the door and they actually listened. I got a few more hours of sleep. Praise God!



I’ve put my 6th request on my door to see a psychologist. I still have that lump on my left side, and things aren’t right, either, but the nurse hasn’t come back. I did win 29 stamps on football picks. Go Ravens! They beat the Lions. They just talked about sausage balls on the radio. I miss it when we would make those!! All the Christmas goodies you would make – peanut butter cookies, pumpkin pie, fudge, chocolate covered pretzels- you loved to cook, and I loved to eat!

We were such a good team! I should be more thankful for what I do have, like my health slowly starting to come back. You in my life. This bible course that you ordered for me! These surroundings get me down so much, and everything you send helps me to focus and not let it all over take me.


Your visit today was SO needed; it seems so long since your last visit. Your energy helps keep me going. You didn’t say anything about the boys; are they acting any better lately? It seems you hardly ever complain about them anymore. It shows such growth in you! God helps us to see our own weaknesses when we pay attention to what about others we find aggravating. He is brought us so much closer. You could have forgotten me and went away…


I will never stop loving them…

at a summer equine camp for kids with behavior needs in 2001 where we both volunteered so the older kids could get some therapy and socialization.

at a summer equine camp for kids with behavior needs in 2001 where we both volunteered so the older kids could get some therapy and socialization.


on a summer trip to Philly with the two youngest, in 2007


I wish sometimes that I could write my three other children, who are now young adults, at 20, 18 and 16.

I think you’ve kept the pictures we had taken over the years, and Nicholas’ baby cap from 1997; one of the few things I was ever given of their lives.  I tried to send letters to them via dad, but Kay (his wife) wrote me an angry letter saying not to send anything there. I still think of them every day.

The first thing I would tell them is that I do still love them. Very much. No matter what has happened, I will never stop loving them. I wonder if they are happy. What has happened in their lives since then? Did they stay in school and achieve any accomplishments, play any sports or participate in activities, travel? It would just be a pleasure to hear their voices and to see them again, to know what they’ve become or done. I would listen to their anger or sadness, joys or pains – just to hear them again. I think of all six of you, every day. Don’t think that there has been a day that I haven’t…

No one would ever be treated like this in the outside world


Well, no one has come to evaluate me for a better type of diet, NMT-3,
even though I’ve requested it several times. Also, my response to the
request for thermals came back denied, “Custody is only allowed to issue thermals to inmates who work.”

But, I’ve some how made it through another cold night, praise God! The air blows like hard like the wind in PA, that never stopped in winter. Even now when I sit to write, it beats on my arms, face, chest and hands, even making them blue. The nurse did come by at 5:30, praise God, and ask if I wanted pain meds; of course I said ‘yes’, and after eating could actually sleep a little, even with the lights on. You would go crazy in here, as they are never off. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. This relief for the pain has been a tremendous help, and has at least given me some sort rest. Praise God for his works through you! And, for you to feel strong enough to stand up to these giants. They are truly bullies to us in here.

God meant for all of us to rest, but not in this prison.
The same people who administer these cruel conditions should have to endure them for a few months, this torture, and see if there is then any reform in the prison system.


Here is what happened with the heat, from what I can tell – it came on, and was warm for one day, and then the next day a mechanic was out, and then the lights were flickering on and off, like they were looking for what fuse was tripped, or trying to figure out why the heat wasn’t working. It was never fixed after that one attempt.

When I woke up this morning, after my time in the rec cage, I was throbbing with pain from the attempt at walking and stretching. Even with the meds, it still hurts to exercise, but I keep on because you said it would be best for the scar tissue and where the tissue is growing over the mesh.

Good morning, love. I went to rec again, it was inside this time. I can’t get over this pain – it has been seven weeks now, and I feel weird all the way down to the bottom of my groin. All of my male ‘parts’ are experiencing numbness, but they have done NO diagnostics, either before or after my surgery to see what is happening to my insides. I also have these sharp pains that throb down there, as well, and when I walk, it feels like something is rubbing inside. It’s hard to explain. IF they would just take me to a doctor who would do standard protocol, and xray or something, then they could better understand what IS going on, if it’s an infection or if something is wrong, they could fix it. I would never be treated like this in the outside world.
A man was put in here today, just for speaking during the Moorish Science Temple time in the chapel. The administrator said he couldn’t teach what he was saying, but the man didn’t stop. He was then given a C-3 charge for speaking on his beliefs. However, that won’t be on the official charge, of course. But, that same officer was also the DHO overseeing the case, which totally goes against policy. But, there’s no one to help us get any sort of justice.

part 6, end of complaint against Greensboro Assistant DA, injustice in North Carolina


………end of 16 p. Formal Complaint against Assistant DA Hubbard to the NC Bar, asking for appropriate relief from wrongful imprisonment…

p. 567 9-10 “Well, I contend to you that you can believe Veronica.”  Finch v. United States, 867 A.2d 222,227 (D.C. 2005) (Improper for prosecutor to express evident opinion that government witness’ testimony had been incredibly straightforward.”) Diaz v. United States, 716 A.2d 173, 180 (D.C. 1997) (Improper for prosecutor to misstate the record by implying that defendant lied) p. 567 21-25 And I contend to you that if you apply those tests to the testimony of Veronica Palacios that you heard from the witness stand, that you won’t have any doubt that she is telling you the truth and that she is absolutely credible.” p.568 lines 1-4 In fact, the only question —— the only question that matters in this case is do you believe Veronica? If you do, then clearly the defendant is guilty of all these crimes. p. 570, lines 17-25       But, again, you know, she —— she —— at this interview she  wasn’t out to make herself look good or make herself look perfect or anything else. She was obviously out to tell the truth. And that’s what she was doing. And now, you know, because they have so little to —— to hang their hat  on —— MS. BAILEY: Objection. MR. HUBBARD: —— the defense is saying ——THE COURT: Overruled.

Powell v. United States, 455 A.2d 13, 16 (D.C. 1982) (“It is for the jury, not the counsel, to decide whether a witness is telling the truth. An attorney may not divert jurors from this task by injecting his personal evaluation as to a witness’ veracity…The prosecutor may not publically cast his vote.”) Dyson v. United States, 418 A.2d 127, 130 (D.C. 1980) (en banc) (Reversible error where porsecutor characterized dense testimony as “falsehood”, argued that there was “not a grain of truth in this defense” and asserted that the defense witnesses had “lied”) W

p.571, lines 1-3  Hubbard: – the defense is saying, Oh, well…cut it off, don’t watch the rest of it, don’t want to put it in context.”  Making untoward comments about assuming what the defense is saying. p. 571 Lines 8-25,  Imagine the most personal or embarrassing or hurtful moment of your life, whatever that might be, and then imagine – and it’s probably – hopefully for none of you that moment is that for four and a half years you were abused by – sexually abused by your father. But, in any event, imagine whatever that moment might be, and the imagine you were a fifteen-year-old girl, as she is now. And some of y’all have children and know…And imagine you had to go in and sit up here in this witness stand…But imagine you had to sit up here and look out at your family… p.572 lines1-6 But she did an admirable, commendable job of remaining quiet and respectful and cogently and intelligently telling you all these hurtful and embarrassing and terrible things that she suffered at the hands of one of the people who should have loved her most. He should have protected her from people like him.

Morris v. United States, 564 A.2d 746 (D.C. 1989) (Improper for prosecutor to invite jurors to imagine conversations between co-defendants)

ABA Standards for Criminal Justice, Standard 3-5.8 (a). (“the prosecutor should not intentionally misstate evidence or mislead jury as to the inferences it may draw.”) -taken from www.tdcaa.com/node/5266 A prosecuting attorney, though free to strike hard blows, is not at liberty to strike foul ones, either directly or indirectly … 21 This was improper because it was simply “a plea for abandonment of objectivity” rather than any legal basis for punishment. “Place yourselves in the shoes of the victim … How would you feel? What would you want?”22 Again, this is improper because it invites the jury to assess punishment based on a sense of vengeance rather than the facts and the law. p. 572 Lines 14-18 She did commendably well in telling you the truth about what happened to her. She has no reason to lie despite what Ms. Bailey said.

p.573 1-3 She didn’t do this because she wanted to get out of the house. She did it because she wanted the abuse to stop. She wanted her father not to be able to come in and have sex with her whenever he felt like it.

p. 574 –lines7-11 The only thing that this child had to gain from coming forward – well, a couple of things, for the pain and the abuse to stop and maybe hopefully to see a little bit of justice, to see that somebody does care enough to tell him that it’s not okay. In order to establish plain error, West must show that any error in giving the transferred intent instruction was “obvious or readily apparent, and that it was so clearly prejudicial  [*7]  to [his] substantial rights as to jeopardize the very fairness and integrity of the trial.” Id. (quoting Harris v. United States, 602 A.2d 154, 159 & n.6 (D.C. 1992) (en banc) (citations omitted)). Aralles with  8th Amendment NC & US Constitution   8th Amendment NC & US Constitution   Article 26 – Bail.  Northern California Innocence Project brought a state habeas petition, which was granted on the basis of the cumulative harm done by egregious prosecutorial misconduct.


Where is the justice here?

Part 1 -Formal Complaint to the NC Bar

The following posts are excerpts mailed from prison in North Carolina in a formal grievance against the assistant DA in Greensboro, NC who should be charged with extreme prosecutorial misconduct and should be dis-barred. It has been almost TWO years since it was written, but still no full response from the North Carolina Bar except that they are in a deluge of complaints and to seek legal action. Hmmm…everyone is waiting for the other one to come forward and make a decision to help us, but no one is really DOING anything…

January 10, 2012

PO BOX 25900

To the Committee:

My name is Daniel Edward Palacios, opus number 1248101. I have enclosed as an addendum these additions to a list of grievances previously mailed to your office. They lie with the assistant DA, Maury Al Hubbard, III in the case of –

GUILFORD COUNTY File Nos.: 10 CRS 66769—72

-that have led to my being wrongfully convicted and sentenced to 123 years in prison.

In looking over case law, the transcripts of this trial, and the Code of Ethics that every licensed attorney swears to uphold, here are my issues of grievance (only including aspects of conduct that I felt negatively affected my trial):
I. Excessive bail stemming from Racial Discrimination/Profiling (Constitutional Amend.8 and Title 18, 871 extortion).
II. 3.3 Candor Toward the Tribunal
a. the lawyer must not allow the tribunal to be misled by false statements of material fact or law or evidence that the lawyer knows to be false. (Amendment 5 –Right to Due Process)
III. Rule 3.8 Special Responsibilities of a Prosecutor
a. Responsibility of a Minister of Justice
b. A prosecutor should not intentionally avoid pursuit of evidence
IV. Rule 4.1 Truthfulness in Statements to Others
V. Rule 4.4 Respect for Rights of Third Persons
VI. Rule 8.4 Misconduct–leading to egregious prosecutorial misconduct
VII. Prosecutorial Misconduct in Closing Arguments
VIII. Felonious Obstruction of Justice

I. Excessive bail (stemming from racial discrimination/profiling) The Eighth Amendment provides:
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.
In Stack v. Boyle, 342 U.S. 1 (1951), the Court found that a defendant’s bail cannot be set higher than an amount that is reasonably likely to ensure the defendant’s presence at the trial. In Stack, the Court found bail of $50,000 to be excessive, given the limited financial resources of the defendants and a lack of evidence that they were likely to flee before trial.
See also, G.S. 15A-534(a) requires that (except in capital cases) one of the following four conditions of pretrial release must be imposed(omitted 1,2,3 for brevity)
(4) Require the execution of an appearance bond secured by a cash deposit of the full amount of the bond, by a mortgage pursuant to G.S. 58-74-5, or by a solvent surety.
The judicial official setting conditions of pretrial release may impose condition (4) if, and only if, one of the other three conditions of pretrial release (a) will not reasonably assure the appearance of the defendant as required; (b) will pose a danger of injury to any person; or (c) is likely to result in destruction of evidence, subornation of perjury, or intimidation of potential witnesses. If condition (4) is imposed the judicial official must record the reasons for so doing in writing. Other statutes apply in limited specific circumstances (see § III, B, infra)
Mr. Hubbard argued at my arraignment that I was a flight risk and might flee to Chicago as I had family there. However, from the time that Veronica made the allegations on October 15, 2009 until the date which I volunteered to turn myself in, January 29, 2010, I had done nothing to meet the conditions necessary to condition 4. I had not lived in Cooke County, Illinois, since I was seven years old. From the time period of 1978 unto the present, I had only visited that area twice.

“There is no crueler tyranny than that which is exercised under cover of law, and with the colors of justice …”
– U.S. v. Jannotti, 673 F.2d 578, 614 (3d Cir. 1982)

There was nothing to suggest that I was a “flight risk”, as he claimed. I had a deeply rooted claim to the community, as I ran an asphalt plant within 15 minutes of my home, we as a family of 8 had lived in the Alamance County/Guilford County area for over seven years, and my mother, father and siblings lived in the surrounding counties. Except for moving up north due to a job offer after losing my job in the APAC takeover, I have lived in North Carolina for twenty nine years. I trusted the justice system, following every condition that was placed upon me, and then turned myself in, knowing that I was innocent and had not done the things Veronica alleged.

The result of this excessive bail has been that, once I was incarcerated, my wife’s reputation had been ruined, as will be explained below, and she had no way to produce an income, as all of her recent education and training was in the field of daycare. She lost almost everything we had, our home, our vehicle, our friends, support of family, and was therefore not able to pay off the $7,500. balance owed on the original bail amount of over $18,000.

This will lead to cruel and unusual punishment:
Such punishment as would amount to torture or barbarity, any cruel and degrading punishment not known to the Common Law, or any fine, penalty, confinement, or treatment that is so disproportionate to the offense as to shock the moral sense of the community.
For, at this point, even if I am granted a re-trial, my wife will have to add the previous balance on top of any bail requirement that court decides upon. She will also not have any collateral to put up on my behalf, and will not have anyone to co-sign, because my family members defaulted on their part of the bond agreement, because they didn’t think they had to keep paying if I was incarcerated.

I will not be able to continue gathering the multitude of evidence discussed below because I will continue to be behind bars. I will not be able to help provide for my wife and children, who have suffered greatly for the grievances I am describing in this letter.

The 10 – plus thousand dollars we paid in regards to my bond in 2010-2011 could have been spent in procuring necessary evidence to procure alibi and supporting evidence as to the past credibility to the main witness. We could have subpoenaed a myriad of psychological evaluations done by both therapists and schools over the years, as well as her medical records showing we always matched her up to a female pediatrician in case she needed someone to talk to because of her early menarche and all of the side effects that can entail for a young woman.

We were so concerned with Veronica’s behaviors and need for therapeutic assistance that we kept her in therapy from 2002-2008. In 2006, the time she claims the sexual abuse started, we actually had set up for her to have an intensive case manager, who visited her at school and at home on a weekly basis. She was often alone with Veronica in the house while I was at work, as I worked mostly at night in Pennsylvania. Also during this same time period, there was an intensive in-home team comprised of two women, who also interacted with Veronica and the boys twice a week, whose documentation my wife included in her grievance. These records, along with my work records could have been paid for by us, if we weren’t tied to such an excessive, discriminately created bail.

Below is a list of therapists and other facilities whose records could have been subpoenaed. I could have even travelled to the states in question to work on getting past friends to perhaps come and testify on my behalf, including Veronica’s horse riding instructor, as I even bought a horse for Veronica and my wife while in Maryland, and my wife personally paid for her riding lessons after school for almost six months, so she could be around other girls in the afternoons, and have positive interactions with to help her with her behavior issues.

1995/1996 – Medical records from Eden Hospital that showed where I took Veronica to the ER on weekend visits with me due to her having recurring yeast infections. My then girlfriend, Shann, noticed that Veronica acted oddly when being bathed, and was afraid she was being molested. The infections pointed to that, as well.
2001 – records from my urologist, Dr. Brian Cope, who performed my vasectomy –Veronica testified to my discharge, yet with my vasectomy I have very little discharge, especially nothing “white” as she describes in more than one investigation and certainly not enough to fit truthfully with her description of me after ‘sex’
2002 – Gary Bailey, social worker, Alamance County, to help children with our underlying suspicion that Daniel Jr and Veronica and been sexually abused and were perpetrating on each other
2003- Family Support Center, Greensboro, NC
2005-Child Guidance Resource Center, Coatesville, PA; we worked with three or four different psychologists while working with them; Veronica received a case manager there, Julie Ulline, who worked with Veronica both in the home in the afternoon, as well as visiting her at East Vincent where she attended in 2006; she received a diagnosis, she and the other children went to a summer camp for children with behavior issues
2005 – attempted commitment for her and Daniel Jr at Brandywine Hospital for behavioral issues, some sexually related; School evaluation done on Veronica for behaviors such as stealing, lying and bullying
2006- Community Services of Devereux – Veronica and Nicholas had an out-patient therapist who is now the director, Dr. Potter
Looking over Document 20, there is a plethora of information in regards to the behavioral issues we encountered over the years with Veronica. This includes excerpts from the psychological evaluation we had done while Veronica was attending East Vincent Elementary while we lived in Chester Springs.
Please note p.2 which shows her ratings in Aggression, Conduct Problems, as well as Externalizing Problems, Depression, Atypicality, Externalizing problems and Adaptability. Veronica needed a great deal of help with her behaviors and emotional state. She tested at-risk in all of these areas or clinically significant.

On page 3, her teacher noted, “that social situations are often strained…she often overreacts and speaks harshly…
p.4 Needs improvement in …practice self-control, express feelings in acceptable ways, follow school and classroom rules…
Fourth grade teacher notes, “At times, she became emotional and her temper was shown. She had some problems socially.”
p.8 “ The teacher rated her within the clinically significant range in the areas of Aggression, and in the at-risk range on hyperactivity and conduct problems…Some of the behaviors that inflated these scales include:…argues when denied her own way, loses temper easily, disobeys; lies; sneaks around;
behaviors of concern noted by teacher…“seems out of touch with reality; acts confused.”
p.13 notes the teacher’s rating scales
2007- Family therapy out-patient on Hwy 4 in Maryland records; receipt from Lusby, MD community center where we paid for her and a friend to take a self-dense class because Veronica said her friends’ step-dad had been abusing her, he wouldn’t allow her to take the class with Veronica.
to be continued

I wonder if they miss us

I truly miss our family. Even with all of the problems.

I had a dream last night that I was out of seg and had a visitor.

I entered the busy visitation room with all of the noise and bustle, and looked all around for you.

Then I heard, “Daddy”! I turned around and there she was, even though I knew immediately.

She had that same squeal just as she used to when I came home from work.

It seemed so real to see her, and she had brought a young man with her, as well.

I wonder if she was thinking about me; if she and my other two sons miss all of the things we used to do as a family, all of the trips and soccer games and wrestling with her brothers and riding her horse, the trips to the beach you’d save up for so we could all go, the times we’d drive to the mountains of NC and cut down our own Christmas tree and drink hot cider and spend the night. It all seems so far away and dreamlike, now.

I miss my children, Shel. All of them. Even after all of the trouble, hurt and pain they have caused; they have been through so much. When I would throw them all around in the pool, she would do the same thing.

It is so hard to be in this position, of hurt, anger and love, and then the misery of being here, the alienation of it all. I wonder if the nightmare will ever end.

I got a copy of the two grievances you wrote and posted to each of the administrative emails, as well as the governor today.

I know I have to keep writing these sick calls, and these requests for my long johns, but it feels so hopeless. The requests never go anywhere. I can’t even have a chair, for Pete’s sake. Would that be so hard to do? I am not violent. The throbbing doesn’t ever go fully away, and the pain is still too sharp after I start to stretch or do any exercise. And, now, in addition to all of my clothes I am lying under seven sheets and 2 blankets. I still haven’t gotten any help with the sick call from November 14th. So, they say I must write another request. I filled out another 490 for the long johns.

Well, later they led me out of here in hand cuffs, a belly chain and foot shackles to medical tonight just before 10 p.m. They took my blood pressure through 2 shirt jackets, 3 shirts, and I wonder how accurate that will be! The lead nurse started asking questions about my level of pain, which I said changes depending on whether or not I try to move. All they do is have me to lie down and mash a little around the now closed incision, and tell me that I am fine. They are doing no internal diagnostics.

I couldn’t believe they were doing anything at all, so I asked if they were seeing me because of a letter that had been written on my behalf. Of course they say, ‘no’.  If so, why was I being seen this late at night, and not by the regular day shift? I asked to see my blood work results, but all they say is that it was ‘fine’.  I asked how I could still be this cold, but they never have and answer.

It’s obvious that your calls and letters/emails are making them very uncomfortable. I just want you to know that what you are doing is great. Don’t lose heart…

Good morning. Well, I was taken once more to medical, at 9 a.m. and they wouldn’t allow me to wear my shirt jackets to walk through the prison. Another new, arbitrary rule to keep us confused, I guess. My temperature is again below normal, 97.5. I told the doctor that I still had odd swelling, and he says I could have issues for up to six months. This makes no sense. I told him that it was nothing like this before, and the pain seems to be coming from all over.

I asked him for help with the long johns, as medical has to write them up, and he said there would not be any coming from medical. I looked at the nurse who knew that she had just told you recently that the 490 had to be written from medical and then the doctor said medical was not in the business of handing out thermals. I guess this is retaliation for your writing the medical grievance. Even the CO couldn’t believe it. So, here I am, back in my cell, cold, and there are other inmates with 490s for thermals.

Well, I didn’t get my package so   tried to sleep, but couldn’t. The guys were all opening their food packages, and the ones that didn’t have them were trying to trade with the others.  I received your card and letters. They make me cry. It’s been s hard to be away from you. I have been so emotional. You have been such a blessing.

It tears me up inside

 Matthew 18:19-20 King James Version (KJV) 19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

Matthew 18:19-20
King James Version (KJV)
19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.
20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.


Are you guys getting snow there? There is only rain here, that I can tell.

I listened to Family Life tonight, and this segment was on a newborn in critical condition.

It tore my heart out, and I praised God for having such healthy children. I don’t think I could handle their struggles.

It takes a strong bond with the Lord to go through such struggles with children involved

and having to walk through such a deep valley knowing you only have such a short time with your baby is unimaginable.

There wouldn’t be a second to waste in those moments, and you won’t have a second chance to nurture or love that child.

Praise God for the length of time he gave me so far with each of my five children! Thank you, God!

I look forward and pray for the next chapter of our lives together. I so hope I can mend this large rift in all of our lives and someday see all of my children again.

I can’t seem to stop crying, and am now listening to ‘Turning Point’. I opened one of Nate’s old letters from 2011 when he was in the hospital after getting so out of control when they falsely imprisoned me. I still feel his pain from that time, and hate I could not be there to help you with the boys. You and they have been through so much turmoil because of all of this. In this letter in September, after being gone for about three weeks; he starts to realize just what he had done with all of the destruction at home. He is like a prodigal son.

We all have to go through these trials, Shel. God takes us on these paths if we stray too far from the right one, and He watches us struggle as we look for handholds, places to put our feet up the rock walls of challenges we create for ourselves. He had to see that without a loving hand to hold, he was too weak to make it in the harsh world by himself. His letter means so much to me, a ten year old fighting and fighting to understand himself and what had happened to him, to us. It has helped me to see that I am helpless without God to guide me.

Without God, all that I do will only be as strong as the flesh that propels me, susceptible to fear and weakness, sickness and it is only through God that great things occur. We are limited in our abilities, while God works through us to make marvelous works! I want to send this back to Nate, so he can be reminded of how frightened he was to be in such a place without love or kindness, full of darkness. Thinking of a ten year old child being locked away from family and friends, without me there to help him; it is a pain that no one should have to endure. Being away from all five of my children and knowing that there was so little for them after my income was no longer a way to provide, that there was no man at home to help make sure things were done, that they were protected…knowing that I could no longer provide for you, Shel, or fix the car when you needed it, or change the flat tires, to drive with you eight hours round trip to see Nate, to help you make the many moves because there was no longer any stability; it tears me up inside.

Nate, Alex; it’s such a lonely place here. No one should have to endure this time of separation. Turn back from your ways of wickedness terrorizing you mother and grandma. You should respect them for all they do to hold things together, instead of hurting them so deeply! Hold your tongues, and you’re language. They care so much for you, and you Nate, have seen the other side. Learn from your mistakes and love each other, too. Be a support where there is so little to give comfort. Turn away from this destructive road. Tell them you love them, and hug them, too.

Know that I am with you. Just look in the mirror. Would you say and do these things if I were there? You will always be a part of me, and me, you. Just as Jesus is the same. Help out more. Do this from your heart. I cherish each and every letter. get, and I just miss you all so much.

God will bring us through all of this. Keep praying..