Getting Drunk is not a mating call, men – single men, take note


Dear Chicano,

I am going to start sending you some random posts to comment on that I find interesting and timely,

men, women, relationships

Men, they REALLY want you to get ‘it’ – intimacy first…

because you have so much wisdom hiding behind those big, brown eyes.

I also want to help keep you sane while being locked away in your little egg,

as I will refer to your seg cell from now on. I think if we refer to these horrors

with a more positive energy, then we can begin to transmute some of the punitive aspects of being wrongly imprisioned, and turn this into a wonderful teaching opportunity.

I feel that we have an obligation to ‘pay it forward’ to humanity, to take this as an opportunity instead of a disaster. So, I look forward to your replies to some of these things, even though I don’t like being vulnerable when you use our relationship as examples, I know that the only way to make a true difference is to be ‘real’.

Too many ‘Christians’ do not understand that when a person comes to you asking for food when they are starving that we need to do that, give them food, feed their souls with kindness and support, instead of giving them cruel words or turning them away with a scorpion, back into the darkness.

So, here is response number 1…

Thoughts from a Chicano man who loves women…

(this is a discussion on drinking in a bar, and then bringing home or going home with a lady…if you were my son…)


I would like to say that I appreciate your candor.

It is obvious that you are working towards understanding men/women to be a better man.

That is the first step. As a man in his forties, I would like to give you a key bit of advice, it that’s OK,

as you seem to be asking the universe for direction here…

the incident above where the lady gave you a ‘hand job’ could have been a much better scene had you been more in tune.

This is a key disfunction of most men. There is a complete lack of communication due to a lack of intimacy. Before we jump in the sack with a woman, if you want it to mean something, you have to be in tune to her body.

She asked you to stop, yet you didn’t, which tells me that you use drinking as an excuse to do what you want, or to attempt to do what you want with women. This is why you feel “like a creep” afterwards.

The fact that she allowed you to come home with her suggested that she was interested; however, you did not take the time to tune in to her needs, so she was obviously turned off. She was smart enough to keep herself from a possible rape scenario by ‘performing’ in a way that would keep her ‘safe’, as you were obviously not making her feel that way.

I see this a lot in younger men, and the issue here is ‘wanting’ a woman, not really ‘looking for’ a woman. This causes a great deal of distress for today’s single woman, because men do not ‘see’ the true value of a woman beyond a hook up.

Women are worth so much more,  repeat,


and I think, once you begin to understand, if you choose to, your own value, and raise your own self esteem, you will then be able to treat women with dignity, and then have much better sexual experiences all around.

In other words, you are only treating women with the same care you have for yourself.

Something to think about…


It was always easy to rouse you, you had an urgency all your own…(mature)


Dear Chicano,

I creid when I couldn’t come to see you yesterday. I had enough gas to get there, but no money to get home. It is so difficult to balance what to do versus what to let wait, as so many things need tending to. Especially after I called Mrs. ‘x’, and she said they had decided to charge you with an ‘A3’ because they felt you were disobeying their orders. I guess that didn’t want to have to fix the A/C unit, huh?

You have to know that you are not alone in this. The men in Central Prison who wouldn’t work anymore after all of the days and hours, back to back, they are in there, too. We have to make a difference somehow, even though I am not sure how we will, yet.

It will be very horrible for you to go to I-Con for six months, and I know it is a form of mind control, torture, and abuse, as well as the hopes that you guys will do them all a favor and go crazy and kill yourselves. You must see that this is God’s way of putting you in the lion’s den, as the stone is being rolled over the door, and you will be cast in darkness. But remember, the angel appeared before Daniel, and not a hair on his head was harmed. You are a voice now, in a place where there is only silence, and suffering, isolation.


I pray each night for help, and a push from God to help the lawyer to get a move on with your motion for freedom. I do small healing exercises for you each night, sending energy, healing and strength.

I feel you on my pillow as I lie down now, and there is a warmth beside me that reminds me of you, and makes me feel tha tyou can feel it, too. That’s why the meditation is so important; it will bind us closer together. I try to close my eyes and remember what it was like in the beginning, fourteen years ago. When we danced that first time in the little country bar that my friends dragged me to, I remember how you danced across the floor to me, with that little sideways smile and shiny cheeks. When you touched me, it was like you knew me, from a time before this, that we had experienced each other many times before.

love, faith, sex, relationships, spirituality

There was an electricity to your hands, a little shock when you slid your fingers across my collarbone, and then you leaned in to kiss my neck and it was as if time stood still, and you pressed yourself against me, one hand in my hair, the other around my waist, I’d never had a man move against me like that!

I remember closing my eyes, and seeing symbols in my head, temple of the dog, letters of some forgotten language, and men in headresses and golden jewelry. Then I realized you were Latino! Oh! You didn’t look it to the average person, but I knew, inside of me, and it called like a whisper, a current of emotion, and when we kissed, it was like being on fire! There was a country ballad playing then, was it George Strait? but your tongue was in my mouth, and your hips were moving against mine, calling me, and I knew that I had to have you, it had been so long since I was with a man, keeping to myself, locked away, and I wanted to explode from all of the sensations!

You have always affected me this way, even after that first time when we finally made love, a hard, passionate, roughness that forced me out my numbness and sadness and made me come ALIVE, a love that demanded every inch of my body and opened my heart to experiencing you. A Latino demands it all – as he is earth, fire, water and air, rolled into one! The pounding that my body got as the bed went across the hard wood floor from one wallof the room  to the other, night after night, and I experienced things I never thought possible!

I can remember lying in bed with you afterwards, waking a few hours later and staring at the ceiling while currents would go through my body, remembering your love making. My face would be tender and scratched from your little goatee’ also my neck and throat. If I would roll over and put my hands and lips all over you, it was always easy to rouse you for more. It was like you had an urgency all your own, a need that I was filling for you, as well.

When I found out I was pregnant four months later, you were so mad and I was so scared, but let’s not dwell on those times. Just remember how it was when he finally came out, two weeks overdue, tired and wrinkly, and his little wide, brown eyes blinked at you for the first time, and when you touched  and felt that thick, dark Mexican/Indian hair on his little misshapen head, still a little bloody from being born. He was wrapped in the same type of blanket as all the other little babies, and looked like a monkey, all swaddled and quiet, and you saw a little you looking back – just remember those feelings when you are hungry, in the dark, and afraid.

When you hear the other inmates scream in isolation, crying or hurting themselves in the deep, dark nights of your soul, remember that I am here, praying for you, sending you light, love and healing energy.

Know that I will not rest until the truth is out and I can be alone with you again as husband and wife deserve to be.