They say 2 hours of sleep is normal if you don’t exercise (111 days in isolation)

I have started to scare myself with how much joy I have now for God.
You are such a harbor me; through all of these trials you’ve never wavered.
I feel our hearts are together always, even through these walls of cement.

They came today for the sick call I wrote ten days ago.
They also answered my request forms saying they won’t give me copies of my medical records.
I have to write to Raleigh’s Department of Corrections, so if you can do that, maybe they will give them to you. They took my blood work on November 19th. I can’t get through to them how much pain this is, and they will do nothing but just tell me to expect pain, to work out, like I haven’t been trying. No one actually does anything. But, I will try to hang on in faith, and give God my burdens.

Praise God! He is moving mountains through you, Rochelle! On our limited canteen list it was now offering for us to purchase multi-vitamins and glucosamine! We were never allowed to get vitamins until now! He is working mightily through you. I wrote to the unit manager giving thanks and asking if they could please allow us to get fish oil.

12/20/13

I was the psychologist today for about 15 minutes. I explained about the sleep deprivation and the lighting, and the extreme cold and she said that 2 hours of sleep at a time was normal without any strenuous activity. Even after I explained my depression, bouts of crying and hopelessness, she said that she couldn’t help and that it didn’t warrant a full psychological evaluation.

She said that things would be better once I’m out of isolation. REALLY? I only have about 90 more days.

The only way to get any version of ‘help’ is if I try to hurt myself or others. Great.

We went outside this morning. IT was so great to finally get outside. I could smell wood burning! It was so homey and reminded me of the fires we would burn sometimes. The leaves and wood smelled so real! I’ve not smelled that in three years now.

12/22/13

I see the importance of celebrating the birth of our Lord now. Before it was more selfish in nature, but this is much bigger; it’s about showing love to others to spread God’s unending love to all. I wish you all a Merry Christmas and may His love fill your hearts as He has mine.

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You have brought me out of a pit

12/19/13
I feel God’s presence even more, as I work to get past feelings of negativity and doom.
I now see things in a different light. There is a new perspective and a way of looking
at what is sightly to God, not my own selfishness.

I will start a draft for the CPS complaint you told me to write so they are forced to see
the results of their falsified and incomplete findings. Guilford County must be made to rectify their illegal and unconstitutional decisions. They just say whatever they like on reports and then alter the truth to meet their own agendas of increasing their bonuses and trying to justify their funding, instead of looking fully at what is happening in the entire picture. They are never forced to see the repercussions caused by their mistakes and lack of training, even altering what they report to make themselves seem in a better light, while other children are receiving no help that they so sorely need.

They actually gave us a Christmas bad today – with ramen noodles, some chips, a rice krispy treat, a Snickers bar, and a Slim Jim type stick, as well as a granola bar. To some this would seem laughable, but to those in isolation who are not allowed to purchase ANY extra food items, it’s a huge treat!

I got your card today, and it reaffirmed what my humanness needed – a confirmation of love. I ask your forgiveness, you’ve been so strong! Please forgive my unbelief, how could I ever doubt? Your cards and letters have brought me out of a pit where I continue to throw myself and hide. My whole heart melted reading your card! With God’s strength I will build my self worth.
I thank God for a wife such as you! Even as they’ve torn the whole back off of the envelope due to your colorful stickers of angels on it.

Being indigent, I have to make my meals draw out longer, and I try to win as many stamps as I can, and hopefully they will give me a pair of shower shoes. Oh, and I have to send home most of my court papers and old mail as I am toting around so much stuff, and I can get in trouble. Just put the mail up, and get it out as you wish to write a book about all of this. It would make a great romance novel!

I now have NO idea who had been treating me or if he was even a doctor

kindness

12/16/13

I tried to sleep, but can’t get more than two hours at a time, due to the constant slamming of the door.

The CO’s just let it slam, and I guess the deprivation of sound is really taking its toll, so it’s like a gun shot.

At 3, 4 and 5 a.m. and of course, all through the day, but it’s the early hours that truly affect me the most.

It would be so easy for them to fix the release to catch softer, but that is too much to ask.

AT 7:30 a.m., the guard came to take me to medical. He stood there and waited for me to pee, and then belly chained and shackled me up.

Upon arriving  I am introduced to a man that was actually Dr. McIntyre. This hasn’t been the man I’ve been seeing for the past few months.  I truly had no idea that this man, Labor was not the doctor. I don’t really even know who ‘Labor’ is, now. He never wore a name plate as this man before me now was. I have no idea who was treating me or if he had ANY credentials to do so.

The Dr. asked me questions, and then agreed that I needed more fiber. Then, he had me take some liquid (God only knows what that was), and he said it would be quick to help, but nothing happened. I laid down and waited, and waited. Finally, five hours later, some relief, but still a sharp pain opposite the hernia area. I’m afraid there is a blockage.

I went ahead and wrote a grievance about the door, and I think it must really be like PTSD because I actually jump when these doors slam. People need to know that this type of purposeful treatment is wrong. Why doesn’t PETA focus more on people – they could probably get a lot done…In the back of my head is pain, and in my temples. I think this is from sleep deprivation. I don’t understand why other inmates don’t fight more to get any justice or relief. These feelings keep intensifying and I stay focused on God, even through the pain and suffering.  I asked a couple of CO’s to please not slam the door and they actually listened. I got a few more hours of sleep. Praise God!

 

12/17/13

I’ve put my 6th request on my door to see a psychologist. I still have that lump on my left side, and things aren’t right, either, but the nurse hasn’t come back. I did win 29 stamps on football picks. Go Ravens! They beat the Lions. They just talked about sausage balls on the radio. I miss it when we would make those!! All the Christmas goodies you would make – peanut butter cookies, pumpkin pie, fudge, chocolate covered pretzels- you loved to cook, and I loved to eat!

We were such a good team! I should be more thankful for what I do have, like my health slowly starting to come back. You in my life. This bible course that you ordered for me! These surroundings get me down so much, and everything you send helps me to focus and not let it all over take me.

12/18/13

Your visit today was SO needed; it seems so long since your last visit. Your energy helps keep me going. You didn’t say anything about the boys; are they acting any better lately? It seems you hardly ever complain about them anymore. It shows such growth in you! God helps us to see our own weaknesses when we pay attention to what about others we find aggravating. He is brought us so much closer. You could have forgotten me and went away…

God’s plan may not make sense right now…

12/12/13
We are more connected now beyond what most can understand.
Reading your last letter put me there with you and our boys.
I could feel Nate’s pain through each word you wrote.
I wept so hard for him, as I felt his pain.
It never gets easier to bear. But, you and I truly did our best.
If nothing else, it was mostly my fault. I felt so bad because we’d had no choice but to send DJ back to that hellhole with his mother. We just couldn’t get any help from the mental health system.
There is never enough to go around for these kids(kids with special needs), as the funding is always cut to line someone else’s pockets further up the chain.

I was just blinded by wanting to show Daniel Jr. love; I needed him to see that I cared for him. I was so excited about being a project manager, having a job ‘back home’ after being up north for that time away from Southern people and family; it felt like a new start.
I also didn’t want him to feel the way that my dad made me feel, that I was nothing, worthless…
When we moved back to North Carolina, I had hoped that perhaps we could start over, maybe do family therapy, try again to get some help and find out what exactly had been going on. We just didn’t know.
There was so much confusion, and Carolyn always kept the older kids riled up and starting things at home; it was hard to keep things calm.
Nothing I can say will change what happened, I just pray to God, for it all.

I pray, for all of my children to receive healing. There is nothing I can do in here, but pray, the hurt is so strong knowing that we just weren’t fully aware of the extent of the damage that was occurring. God forgive DJ for doing those acts, and I pray Veronica, Nate and Alex will learn to lean on the Lord to give them hope. Their faith will grow as ours has, and even though God’s plan may not make sense right now, it will in time, according to His purpose. Nothing I can say, as a man can make anything right. My love has become so much stronger knowing Jesus’ love is so much more than we can understand. I wish I could hold all of them, my children, and give them comfort where there is none, and let them feel their daddy’s love again. May they feel God’s love around them, giving them comfort.

They are still tearing off the holiday stickers that you put on my envelopes. But, at least they aren’t marking out the bible verses you write on them. I am listening to the Christmas shoe song. It always makes me cry to hear that. I miss my mom so much. She never had much, but she always tried to give more than she had. Those little gifts meant so much to her to be able to give to her children and grandchildren. It wasn’t the toy that mattered, it was what was in her heart. She was so giving!
helping-others

One stone can change the world

12/12/13
david-and-goliath

Someone must be reading my grievances; yesterday I noticed that the air was warmer while still blowing with so much force. They must have raised the temp just a few degrees, which makes a big difference for us.

God spoke to me while I was listening to a preacher speak about David and Goliath, and it came to me that often-heard story is meant as to explain the coming of Christ; that Jesus was the stone in David’s sling that would defeat sin. David didn’t worry about manmade armor or a large weapon; his only concern was the protection of his people against an enemy. Even as Saul’s men trembled, David went to the stream bed and picked out a perfect assortment of rocks. They laughed at this young man, standing confident with no armor or expensive gear; just a simple peasant. But, David’s faith was so strong that he let God lead his arm, so that the stone brought him down, and David cut of Goliath’s head with his own sword.

See how this is Christ coming to change the world? He came to do away with sin that has separated us from our heavenly Father. God was showing the world that one stone can change the world.

Don’t be afraid to praise God! Rejoice in the Lord and proclaim His work to all. Yes, we all fail at times, but draw on the strength of God. My heart was hardened with so many years of abuse, but in His light, you always shined! God knew it would take a strong woman to break me down for Him to begin working on me! Praise God! Let others know that it is Jesus’ love for them; to have hope – many have suffered but you are not alone! We have to take it on faith! Even in such a place as this I can love the Lord! I feel secure in God’s hands, something I’ve never felt before. He will never make us come to Him.
I just want to convey my joy in God to be released from bondage that I alone had put myself in, as sin no longer controls me. Know the Lord is with you! With faith are we made free!

I have no value unless it comes through God

The mind of man plans his way but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9

The mind of man plans his way but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9

12/5/13 .

…….

Praise God for keeping me calm, and knowing when to keep my mouth shut.

The assistant superintendent came in today and looked in my room to see if he could find anything wrong. He saw that

I had a paper cover over most of my light. Not that it really did any good during the day, but as we don’t get

any relief from the constant light, it did help at night. He made me take it down. I complied, as I don’t need any more write ups.

No matter what they do, I am receiving lessons, and God is with me, so who can be against me?

I no longer have my own strength, but the full measure comes from God himself. NO one else got in trouble for their papers,

but I just accepted it as part of what is coming as we have started these formal grievances.

We only have an 8 x 10 cell, with 4 long fluorescent bulbs keeping it lit up in here. Some days they are on for over 19 hours.

My heart rate went up, knowing I was the one singled out, I heard a whisper in my ear stating, “I am in control.”

Just seeing his face angered me, but God’s spirit kept me calm.

What I’m trying to tell y0u is that I have no value unless it comes through God. All my own actions are worthless until I submit fully to God’s will working in my life.

Now that you have sent things to the representatives and congress and the governor, things should get tougher on the prison.  They were hoping this would just disappear. But, that hasn’t happened. God is in control.

I did do some exercising, and was able to get in 10 pushups before I had a sharp pain and stopped.  I did 36 toe touches and 50 side bends. I sometimes get these sharp inner pains, but the swelling has started to go down a little, almost two months later.

I’m drinking a cup of my coffee now, thinking of all of these evenings we would sit in the swing on the front porch and watch the stars in the summer, or winter and there’d be steam coming off of our breaths as we talked about our day or things to do with the kids.

I took for granted all those blessed days. I now await God’s next chapter of our lives together. I know it will be quite an experience.

Things will work out according to God’s will. We have to wait on God and not force it to be something we want, when we want it.

I love you.

Part 1 -Formal Complaint to the NC Bar

The following posts are excerpts mailed from prison in North Carolina in a formal grievance against the assistant DA in Greensboro, NC who should be charged with extreme prosecutorial misconduct and should be dis-barred. It has been almost TWO years since it was written, but still no full response from the North Carolina Bar except that they are in a deluge of complaints and to seek legal action. Hmmm…everyone is waiting for the other one to come forward and make a decision to help us, but no one is really DOING anything…
………………………

January 10, 2012

THE GRIEVANCE COMMITTEE OFFICE
THE NORTH CAROLINA STATE BAR
PO BOX 25900
RALEIGH, NC 27611

To the Committee:

My name is Daniel Edward Palacios, opus number 1248101. I have enclosed as an addendum these additions to a list of grievances previously mailed to your office. They lie with the assistant DA, Maury Al Hubbard, III in the case of –

NORTH CAROLINA IN THE GENERAL COURT OF JUSTICE
SUPERIOR COURT DIVISION
GUILFORD COUNTY File Nos.: 10 CRS 66769—72
STATE OF NORTH CAROLINA
vs. DANIEL EDWARD PALACIOS, Defendant

-that have led to my being wrongfully convicted and sentenced to 123 years in prison.

In looking over case law, the transcripts of this trial, and the Code of Ethics that every licensed attorney swears to uphold, here are my issues of grievance (only including aspects of conduct that I felt negatively affected my trial):
I. Excessive bail stemming from Racial Discrimination/Profiling (Constitutional Amend.8 and Title 18, 871 extortion).
II. 3.3 Candor Toward the Tribunal
a. the lawyer must not allow the tribunal to be misled by false statements of material fact or law or evidence that the lawyer knows to be false. (Amendment 5 –Right to Due Process)
III. Rule 3.8 Special Responsibilities of a Prosecutor
a. Responsibility of a Minister of Justice
b. A prosecutor should not intentionally avoid pursuit of evidence
IV. Rule 4.1 Truthfulness in Statements to Others
V. Rule 4.4 Respect for Rights of Third Persons
VI. Rule 8.4 Misconduct–leading to egregious prosecutorial misconduct
VII. Prosecutorial Misconduct in Closing Arguments
VIII. Felonious Obstruction of Justice

I. Excessive bail (stemming from racial discrimination/profiling) The Eighth Amendment provides:
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.
In Stack v. Boyle, 342 U.S. 1 (1951), the Court found that a defendant’s bail cannot be set higher than an amount that is reasonably likely to ensure the defendant’s presence at the trial. In Stack, the Court found bail of $50,000 to be excessive, given the limited financial resources of the defendants and a lack of evidence that they were likely to flee before trial.
See also, G.S. 15A-534(a) requires that (except in capital cases) one of the following four conditions of pretrial release must be imposed(omitted 1,2,3 for brevity)
(4) Require the execution of an appearance bond secured by a cash deposit of the full amount of the bond, by a mortgage pursuant to G.S. 58-74-5, or by a solvent surety.
The judicial official setting conditions of pretrial release may impose condition (4) if, and only if, one of the other three conditions of pretrial release (a) will not reasonably assure the appearance of the defendant as required; (b) will pose a danger of injury to any person; or (c) is likely to result in destruction of evidence, subornation of perjury, or intimidation of potential witnesses. If condition (4) is imposed the judicial official must record the reasons for so doing in writing. Other statutes apply in limited specific circumstances (see § III, B, infra)
Mr. Hubbard argued at my arraignment that I was a flight risk and might flee to Chicago as I had family there. However, from the time that Veronica made the allegations on October 15, 2009 until the date which I volunteered to turn myself in, January 29, 2010, I had done nothing to meet the conditions necessary to condition 4. I had not lived in Cooke County, Illinois, since I was seven years old. From the time period of 1978 unto the present, I had only visited that area twice.

“There is no crueler tyranny than that which is exercised under cover of law, and with the colors of justice …”
– U.S. v. Jannotti, 673 F.2d 578, 614 (3d Cir. 1982)

There was nothing to suggest that I was a “flight risk”, as he claimed. I had a deeply rooted claim to the community, as I ran an asphalt plant within 15 minutes of my home, we as a family of 8 had lived in the Alamance County/Guilford County area for over seven years, and my mother, father and siblings lived in the surrounding counties. Except for moving up north due to a job offer after losing my job in the APAC takeover, I have lived in North Carolina for twenty nine years. I trusted the justice system, following every condition that was placed upon me, and then turned myself in, knowing that I was innocent and had not done the things Veronica alleged.

The result of this excessive bail has been that, once I was incarcerated, my wife’s reputation had been ruined, as will be explained below, and she had no way to produce an income, as all of her recent education and training was in the field of daycare. She lost almost everything we had, our home, our vehicle, our friends, support of family, and was therefore not able to pay off the $7,500. balance owed on the original bail amount of over $18,000.

This will lead to cruel and unusual punishment:
Such punishment as would amount to torture or barbarity, any cruel and degrading punishment not known to the Common Law, or any fine, penalty, confinement, or treatment that is so disproportionate to the offense as to shock the moral sense of the community.
For, at this point, even if I am granted a re-trial, my wife will have to add the previous balance on top of any bail requirement that court decides upon. She will also not have any collateral to put up on my behalf, and will not have anyone to co-sign, because my family members defaulted on their part of the bond agreement, because they didn’t think they had to keep paying if I was incarcerated.

I will not be able to continue gathering the multitude of evidence discussed below because I will continue to be behind bars. I will not be able to help provide for my wife and children, who have suffered greatly for the grievances I am describing in this letter.

The 10 – plus thousand dollars we paid in regards to my bond in 2010-2011 could have been spent in procuring necessary evidence to procure alibi and supporting evidence as to the past credibility to the main witness. We could have subpoenaed a myriad of psychological evaluations done by both therapists and schools over the years, as well as her medical records showing we always matched her up to a female pediatrician in case she needed someone to talk to because of her early menarche and all of the side effects that can entail for a young woman.

We were so concerned with Veronica’s behaviors and need for therapeutic assistance that we kept her in therapy from 2002-2008. In 2006, the time she claims the sexual abuse started, we actually had set up for her to have an intensive case manager, who visited her at school and at home on a weekly basis. She was often alone with Veronica in the house while I was at work, as I worked mostly at night in Pennsylvania. Also during this same time period, there was an intensive in-home team comprised of two women, who also interacted with Veronica and the boys twice a week, whose documentation my wife included in her grievance. These records, along with my work records could have been paid for by us, if we weren’t tied to such an excessive, discriminately created bail.

Below is a list of therapists and other facilities whose records could have been subpoenaed. I could have even travelled to the states in question to work on getting past friends to perhaps come and testify on my behalf, including Veronica’s horse riding instructor, as I even bought a horse for Veronica and my wife while in Maryland, and my wife personally paid for her riding lessons after school for almost six months, so she could be around other girls in the afternoons, and have positive interactions with to help her with her behavior issues.

1995/1996 – Medical records from Eden Hospital that showed where I took Veronica to the ER on weekend visits with me due to her having recurring yeast infections. My then girlfriend, Shann, noticed that Veronica acted oddly when being bathed, and was afraid she was being molested. The infections pointed to that, as well.
2001 – records from my urologist, Dr. Brian Cope, who performed my vasectomy –Veronica testified to my discharge, yet with my vasectomy I have very little discharge, especially nothing “white” as she describes in more than one investigation and certainly not enough to fit truthfully with her description of me after ‘sex’
2002 – Gary Bailey, social worker, Alamance County, to help children with our underlying suspicion that Daniel Jr and Veronica and been sexually abused and were perpetrating on each other
2003- Family Support Center, Greensboro, NC
2005-Child Guidance Resource Center, Coatesville, PA; we worked with three or four different psychologists while working with them; Veronica received a case manager there, Julie Ulline, who worked with Veronica both in the home in the afternoon, as well as visiting her at East Vincent where she attended in 2006; she received a diagnosis, she and the other children went to a summer camp for children with behavior issues
2005 – attempted commitment for her and Daniel Jr at Brandywine Hospital for behavioral issues, some sexually related; School evaluation done on Veronica for behaviors such as stealing, lying and bullying
2006- Community Services of Devereux – Veronica and Nicholas had an out-patient therapist who is now the director, Dr. Potter
Looking over Document 20, there is a plethora of information in regards to the behavioral issues we encountered over the years with Veronica. This includes excerpts from the psychological evaluation we had done while Veronica was attending East Vincent Elementary while we lived in Chester Springs.
Please note p.2 which shows her ratings in Aggression, Conduct Problems, as well as Externalizing Problems, Depression, Atypicality, Externalizing problems and Adaptability. Veronica needed a great deal of help with her behaviors and emotional state. She tested at-risk in all of these areas or clinically significant.

On page 3, her teacher noted, “that social situations are often strained…she often overreacts and speaks harshly…
p.4 Needs improvement in …practice self-control, express feelings in acceptable ways, follow school and classroom rules…
Fourth grade teacher notes, “At times, she became emotional and her temper was shown. She had some problems socially.”
p.8 “ The teacher rated her within the clinically significant range in the areas of Aggression, and in the at-risk range on hyperactivity and conduct problems…Some of the behaviors that inflated these scales include:…argues when denied her own way, loses temper easily, disobeys; lies; sneaks around;
behaviors of concern noted by teacher…“seems out of touch with reality; acts confused.”
p.13 notes the teacher’s rating scales
2007- Family therapy out-patient on Hwy 4 in Maryland records; receipt from Lusby, MD community center where we paid for her and a friend to take a self-dense class because Veronica said her friends’ step-dad had been abusing her, he wouldn’t allow her to take the class with Veronica.
……………..
to be continued