I’ve been asking for a pen now for a week…

They called for our weekly rec, outside time, at 6:30 a.m.

It was 20 degrees. If I had ever been given my thermals,

I would have gone out, anyway, but without them, in the dark with no sunshine, no way.

The prison does this because they know that no one has any way to keep warm to go outside.

I will send another request form to the nurse, asking about the sick call request I sent in over a week ago about still having pain, and I asked for psyllium fiber, as we only get starches to eat, with very little vegetables or near enough fiber to have healthy bowels. On Nov. 26, the lead nurse said I would be getting an assessment for a specialized diet, but none has been done, two weeks later. I did get a not from another nurse who said that this week I was scheduled for an assessment, which is then sent to Raleigh. But, no assessment. See, I cry my eyes out but no one hears my cries but Jesus. God will prevail. My head hurts from all of the crying and thinking so much, and the effects of being stuck in this cell all of the time.

I stood at the door for over an hour, waiting for an officer to come and get this form for a psychological interview.  Two CO’s later someone finally takes it on. The fiber pills just don’t work at all, and they are 625 mg, but the stuff I bought in canteen worked fine. (He doesn’t realize the effects of post-surgery bowel issues, and without proper diet and exericise is having great difficulty) I am under great stress from this extra pain and complication, and it also makes me feel very tired. If I want to talk to another guy, I have to stand at my door and yell, which is difficult to keep up for any length of time.

12/15/13

A nurse came in today and brought me two small pills, but didn’t even tell me what they were. My temp is still not normal, but it is better, at 98.3, and she said the pills may help, but it looks like the psyllium may not be enough right now. The next option is some sort of liquid. I hate when they don’t tell me things. I had asked to take these things before surgery to help me through the post-op, but they refused to give me anything. I know my body better than them, but they act like we cannot make any decisions on our own.

I was able to eat better today, so when they served a burger patty, 1/2 c of rice, another 1/2 c of lima beans, and then a cookie and corn bread for later. But, the nurse never did come back. The doctor, the few times I have seen him, avoids eye contact, so I know I can’t trust what he tells me. But, what am I to do?

I hope to hear from the psychologist soon. I really need relief. The emptiness of this place is so consuming. Your letters are so full of light in this dreadful place, and full of God’s word.

It’s so cold tonight, and the air never stops pelting my face and hands. I traded with a friend for a regular pen and it writes so good compared to the seg pen. I’ve been asking for a pen now for a week. The Co’s just say, “I just gave out the last one”; like that’s funny to them.

It’s hard for me to remember when I read, “Bless them that hurt you, and pray for them that despitefully use you,” that it was more targeted for our family and close ones over our enemies. Family members have become an enemy to me in many ways by not helping to take care of the children, but I will send them love, regardless.

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God’s plan may not make sense right now…

12/12/13
We are more connected now beyond what most can understand.
Reading your last letter put me there with you and our boys.
I could feel Nate’s pain through each word you wrote.
I wept so hard for him, as I felt his pain.
It never gets easier to bear. But, you and I truly did our best.
If nothing else, it was mostly my fault. I felt so bad because we’d had no choice but to send DJ back to that hellhole with his mother. We just couldn’t get any help from the mental health system.
There is never enough to go around for these kids(kids with special needs), as the funding is always cut to line someone else’s pockets further up the chain.

I was just blinded by wanting to show Daniel Jr. love; I needed him to see that I cared for him. I was so excited about being a project manager, having a job ‘back home’ after being up north for that time away from Southern people and family; it felt like a new start.
I also didn’t want him to feel the way that my dad made me feel, that I was nothing, worthless…
When we moved back to North Carolina, I had hoped that perhaps we could start over, maybe do family therapy, try again to get some help and find out what exactly had been going on. We just didn’t know.
There was so much confusion, and Carolyn always kept the older kids riled up and starting things at home; it was hard to keep things calm.
Nothing I can say will change what happened, I just pray to God, for it all.

I pray, for all of my children to receive healing. There is nothing I can do in here, but pray, the hurt is so strong knowing that we just weren’t fully aware of the extent of the damage that was occurring. God forgive DJ for doing those acts, and I pray Veronica, Nate and Alex will learn to lean on the Lord to give them hope. Their faith will grow as ours has, and even though God’s plan may not make sense right now, it will in time, according to His purpose. Nothing I can say, as a man can make anything right. My love has become so much stronger knowing Jesus’ love is so much more than we can understand. I wish I could hold all of them, my children, and give them comfort where there is none, and let them feel their daddy’s love again. May they feel God’s love around them, giving them comfort.

They are still tearing off the holiday stickers that you put on my envelopes. But, at least they aren’t marking out the bible verses you write on them. I am listening to the Christmas shoe song. It always makes me cry to hear that. I miss my mom so much. She never had much, but she always tried to give more than she had. Those little gifts meant so much to her to be able to give to her children and grandchildren. It wasn’t the toy that mattered, it was what was in her heart. She was so giving!
helping-others

One stone can change the world

12/12/13
david-and-goliath

Someone must be reading my grievances; yesterday I noticed that the air was warmer while still blowing with so much force. They must have raised the temp just a few degrees, which makes a big difference for us.

God spoke to me while I was listening to a preacher speak about David and Goliath, and it came to me that often-heard story is meant as to explain the coming of Christ; that Jesus was the stone in David’s sling that would defeat sin. David didn’t worry about manmade armor or a large weapon; his only concern was the protection of his people against an enemy. Even as Saul’s men trembled, David went to the stream bed and picked out a perfect assortment of rocks. They laughed at this young man, standing confident with no armor or expensive gear; just a simple peasant. But, David’s faith was so strong that he let God lead his arm, so that the stone brought him down, and David cut of Goliath’s head with his own sword.

See how this is Christ coming to change the world? He came to do away with sin that has separated us from our heavenly Father. God was showing the world that one stone can change the world.

Don’t be afraid to praise God! Rejoice in the Lord and proclaim His work to all. Yes, we all fail at times, but draw on the strength of God. My heart was hardened with so many years of abuse, but in His light, you always shined! God knew it would take a strong woman to break me down for Him to begin working on me! Praise God! Let others know that it is Jesus’ love for them; to have hope – many have suffered but you are not alone! We have to take it on faith! Even in such a place as this I can love the Lord! I feel secure in God’s hands, something I’ve never felt before. He will never make us come to Him.
I just want to convey my joy in God to be released from bondage that I alone had put myself in, as sin no longer controls me. Know the Lord is with you! With faith are we made free!

We should always rejoice in God, even before we receive

12/6/13god-is-in-control
It amazes me just how much clearer God’s word have become. His Word is already in my mind before I pick up the bible. Things seem to make so much more sense. My eyes have truly been opened, but only through Him. There is so much joy in being able to know God. Knowing that he alone provides for us, all that we require. Our Lord Jesus Christ’s blood has covered us so that we may have fellowship with God. And fully knowing the value of this also answers the enemies’ accusations against us. Praise God!

I praise God so much for a wonderful woman such as you. Through God we draw our strength.
I received mail from the lawyer today as the files do not have the full information that they said should be there. They hope to get my full file from the original public defender. They are working to get a more in-depth investigation going soon. I want to ask questions, but don’t know what is appropriate. How long does it take for an investigator to do these particular things; it been over three months now. I try to remember Psalms 31:15 – My times are in Your Hands. God is in control.

12/7/13

I feel better for the first time in two months; a sweat was breaking while I slept. It’s a shame I’ve had to suffer from such a lack of care, with no vitamins, proper food or rest, or sunshine to aid the healing. Thank God I was in such good health before the surgery! If not, I doubted I would have made it! Praise God!

Things have been quiet today. They did lock someone up this morning, but I believe seg is full. Just a week and a half ago the dorm had 7 empty cells out of 24. They have been locking the men up for nothing. This is not a good place to be. I hope I get out of here soon. Since the first super left it has really gone down hill.

12/8/13
I’m wearing 3 shirt jackets now and finally staying warm. I can get written up for having on so many clothes but I don’t care. I rested my bald head against the wall for a second and raised back like I’d been burned. The air just whips this coldness off the walls and into my face.

I got four stamps on games today. I could get 20 to 30 overall. It keeps the dorm talking to tell everyone back and forth down the hall who’s winning. It sounds exciting to hear them talking about playing in the snow in PA. I wish we could have stayed there; it was so beautiful.

12/9/13
I’ve noticed that they’ve been cleaning up here alot more than they ever do. Someone is coming to visit. I’m not sure if this has anything to do with your grievances, but it could…I received copies of your grievances today. They tore all of your holiday stickers off of the envelopes.
Sounds like you have support now. People are becoming interested. He will place people in His timing.

The air from the vents here just blow and blow like Arctic air. I’ve got on 3 shirts, 3 jackets, 3 pairs of socks, and a pair of pants. But, I can’t keep my head covered or warm, as there’s nothing to cover it. I’m sitting on the bed now writing, and this air pelts my hands and face and my fingers feel numb. The color is sometimes bluish. This place will not have me losing faith in my God in Heaven, regardless!

I now see how God is working in so many ways that I couldn’t see before. NO matter how hard we try, it is only going to if it is part of God’s plan. So many of us in the excitement of our unanswered prayers forget to give thanks to God. We don’t praise God with as much joy as a people, and should rejoice in our God, who has already prepared it all for us BEFOREHAND.

You know, I have always sensed a glow about you, but could never really understand the feeling until now. I see that you have God with you always. God uses you to His full extent.

I have no value unless it comes through God

The mind of man plans his way but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9

The mind of man plans his way but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9

12/5/13 .

…….

Praise God for keeping me calm, and knowing when to keep my mouth shut.

The assistant superintendent came in today and looked in my room to see if he could find anything wrong. He saw that

I had a paper cover over most of my light. Not that it really did any good during the day, but as we don’t get

any relief from the constant light, it did help at night. He made me take it down. I complied, as I don’t need any more write ups.

No matter what they do, I am receiving lessons, and God is with me, so who can be against me?

I no longer have my own strength, but the full measure comes from God himself. NO one else got in trouble for their papers,

but I just accepted it as part of what is coming as we have started these formal grievances.

We only have an 8 x 10 cell, with 4 long fluorescent bulbs keeping it lit up in here. Some days they are on for over 19 hours.

My heart rate went up, knowing I was the one singled out, I heard a whisper in my ear stating, “I am in control.”

Just seeing his face angered me, but God’s spirit kept me calm.

What I’m trying to tell y0u is that I have no value unless it comes through God. All my own actions are worthless until I submit fully to God’s will working in my life.

Now that you have sent things to the representatives and congress and the governor, things should get tougher on the prison.  They were hoping this would just disappear. But, that hasn’t happened. God is in control.

I did do some exercising, and was able to get in 10 pushups before I had a sharp pain and stopped.  I did 36 toe touches and 50 side bends. I sometimes get these sharp inner pains, but the swelling has started to go down a little, almost two months later.

I’m drinking a cup of my coffee now, thinking of all of these evenings we would sit in the swing on the front porch and watch the stars in the summer, or winter and there’d be steam coming off of our breaths as we talked about our day or things to do with the kids.

I took for granted all those blessed days. I now await God’s next chapter of our lives together. I know it will be quite an experience.

Things will work out according to God’s will. We have to wait on God and not force it to be something we want, when we want it.

I love you.

Part 1 -Formal Complaint to the NC Bar

The following posts are excerpts mailed from prison in North Carolina in a formal grievance against the assistant DA in Greensboro, NC who should be charged with extreme prosecutorial misconduct and should be dis-barred. It has been almost TWO years since it was written, but still no full response from the North Carolina Bar except that they are in a deluge of complaints and to seek legal action. Hmmm…everyone is waiting for the other one to come forward and make a decision to help us, but no one is really DOING anything…
………………………

January 10, 2012

THE GRIEVANCE COMMITTEE OFFICE
THE NORTH CAROLINA STATE BAR
PO BOX 25900
RALEIGH, NC 27611

To the Committee:

My name is Daniel Edward Palacios, opus number 1248101. I have enclosed as an addendum these additions to a list of grievances previously mailed to your office. They lie with the assistant DA, Maury Al Hubbard, III in the case of –

NORTH CAROLINA IN THE GENERAL COURT OF JUSTICE
SUPERIOR COURT DIVISION
GUILFORD COUNTY File Nos.: 10 CRS 66769—72
STATE OF NORTH CAROLINA
vs. DANIEL EDWARD PALACIOS, Defendant

-that have led to my being wrongfully convicted and sentenced to 123 years in prison.

In looking over case law, the transcripts of this trial, and the Code of Ethics that every licensed attorney swears to uphold, here are my issues of grievance (only including aspects of conduct that I felt negatively affected my trial):
I. Excessive bail stemming from Racial Discrimination/Profiling (Constitutional Amend.8 and Title 18, 871 extortion).
II. 3.3 Candor Toward the Tribunal
a. the lawyer must not allow the tribunal to be misled by false statements of material fact or law or evidence that the lawyer knows to be false. (Amendment 5 –Right to Due Process)
III. Rule 3.8 Special Responsibilities of a Prosecutor
a. Responsibility of a Minister of Justice
b. A prosecutor should not intentionally avoid pursuit of evidence
IV. Rule 4.1 Truthfulness in Statements to Others
V. Rule 4.4 Respect for Rights of Third Persons
VI. Rule 8.4 Misconduct–leading to egregious prosecutorial misconduct
VII. Prosecutorial Misconduct in Closing Arguments
VIII. Felonious Obstruction of Justice

I. Excessive bail (stemming from racial discrimination/profiling) The Eighth Amendment provides:
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.
In Stack v. Boyle, 342 U.S. 1 (1951), the Court found that a defendant’s bail cannot be set higher than an amount that is reasonably likely to ensure the defendant’s presence at the trial. In Stack, the Court found bail of $50,000 to be excessive, given the limited financial resources of the defendants and a lack of evidence that they were likely to flee before trial.
See also, G.S. 15A-534(a) requires that (except in capital cases) one of the following four conditions of pretrial release must be imposed(omitted 1,2,3 for brevity)
(4) Require the execution of an appearance bond secured by a cash deposit of the full amount of the bond, by a mortgage pursuant to G.S. 58-74-5, or by a solvent surety.
The judicial official setting conditions of pretrial release may impose condition (4) if, and only if, one of the other three conditions of pretrial release (a) will not reasonably assure the appearance of the defendant as required; (b) will pose a danger of injury to any person; or (c) is likely to result in destruction of evidence, subornation of perjury, or intimidation of potential witnesses. If condition (4) is imposed the judicial official must record the reasons for so doing in writing. Other statutes apply in limited specific circumstances (see § III, B, infra)
Mr. Hubbard argued at my arraignment that I was a flight risk and might flee to Chicago as I had family there. However, from the time that Veronica made the allegations on October 15, 2009 until the date which I volunteered to turn myself in, January 29, 2010, I had done nothing to meet the conditions necessary to condition 4. I had not lived in Cooke County, Illinois, since I was seven years old. From the time period of 1978 unto the present, I had only visited that area twice.

“There is no crueler tyranny than that which is exercised under cover of law, and with the colors of justice …”
– U.S. v. Jannotti, 673 F.2d 578, 614 (3d Cir. 1982)

There was nothing to suggest that I was a “flight risk”, as he claimed. I had a deeply rooted claim to the community, as I ran an asphalt plant within 15 minutes of my home, we as a family of 8 had lived in the Alamance County/Guilford County area for over seven years, and my mother, father and siblings lived in the surrounding counties. Except for moving up north due to a job offer after losing my job in the APAC takeover, I have lived in North Carolina for twenty nine years. I trusted the justice system, following every condition that was placed upon me, and then turned myself in, knowing that I was innocent and had not done the things Veronica alleged.

The result of this excessive bail has been that, once I was incarcerated, my wife’s reputation had been ruined, as will be explained below, and she had no way to produce an income, as all of her recent education and training was in the field of daycare. She lost almost everything we had, our home, our vehicle, our friends, support of family, and was therefore not able to pay off the $7,500. balance owed on the original bail amount of over $18,000.

This will lead to cruel and unusual punishment:
Such punishment as would amount to torture or barbarity, any cruel and degrading punishment not known to the Common Law, or any fine, penalty, confinement, or treatment that is so disproportionate to the offense as to shock the moral sense of the community.
For, at this point, even if I am granted a re-trial, my wife will have to add the previous balance on top of any bail requirement that court decides upon. She will also not have any collateral to put up on my behalf, and will not have anyone to co-sign, because my family members defaulted on their part of the bond agreement, because they didn’t think they had to keep paying if I was incarcerated.

I will not be able to continue gathering the multitude of evidence discussed below because I will continue to be behind bars. I will not be able to help provide for my wife and children, who have suffered greatly for the grievances I am describing in this letter.

The 10 – plus thousand dollars we paid in regards to my bond in 2010-2011 could have been spent in procuring necessary evidence to procure alibi and supporting evidence as to the past credibility to the main witness. We could have subpoenaed a myriad of psychological evaluations done by both therapists and schools over the years, as well as her medical records showing we always matched her up to a female pediatrician in case she needed someone to talk to because of her early menarche and all of the side effects that can entail for a young woman.

We were so concerned with Veronica’s behaviors and need for therapeutic assistance that we kept her in therapy from 2002-2008. In 2006, the time she claims the sexual abuse started, we actually had set up for her to have an intensive case manager, who visited her at school and at home on a weekly basis. She was often alone with Veronica in the house while I was at work, as I worked mostly at night in Pennsylvania. Also during this same time period, there was an intensive in-home team comprised of two women, who also interacted with Veronica and the boys twice a week, whose documentation my wife included in her grievance. These records, along with my work records could have been paid for by us, if we weren’t tied to such an excessive, discriminately created bail.

Below is a list of therapists and other facilities whose records could have been subpoenaed. I could have even travelled to the states in question to work on getting past friends to perhaps come and testify on my behalf, including Veronica’s horse riding instructor, as I even bought a horse for Veronica and my wife while in Maryland, and my wife personally paid for her riding lessons after school for almost six months, so she could be around other girls in the afternoons, and have positive interactions with to help her with her behavior issues.

1995/1996 – Medical records from Eden Hospital that showed where I took Veronica to the ER on weekend visits with me due to her having recurring yeast infections. My then girlfriend, Shann, noticed that Veronica acted oddly when being bathed, and was afraid she was being molested. The infections pointed to that, as well.
2001 – records from my urologist, Dr. Brian Cope, who performed my vasectomy –Veronica testified to my discharge, yet with my vasectomy I have very little discharge, especially nothing “white” as she describes in more than one investigation and certainly not enough to fit truthfully with her description of me after ‘sex’
2002 – Gary Bailey, social worker, Alamance County, to help children with our underlying suspicion that Daniel Jr and Veronica and been sexually abused and were perpetrating on each other
2003- Family Support Center, Greensboro, NC
2005-Child Guidance Resource Center, Coatesville, PA; we worked with three or four different psychologists while working with them; Veronica received a case manager there, Julie Ulline, who worked with Veronica both in the home in the afternoon, as well as visiting her at East Vincent where she attended in 2006; she received a diagnosis, she and the other children went to a summer camp for children with behavior issues
2005 – attempted commitment for her and Daniel Jr at Brandywine Hospital for behavioral issues, some sexually related; School evaluation done on Veronica for behaviors such as stealing, lying and bullying
2006- Community Services of Devereux – Veronica and Nicholas had an out-patient therapist who is now the director, Dr. Potter
Looking over Document 20, there is a plethora of information in regards to the behavioral issues we encountered over the years with Veronica. This includes excerpts from the psychological evaluation we had done while Veronica was attending East Vincent Elementary while we lived in Chester Springs.
Please note p.2 which shows her ratings in Aggression, Conduct Problems, as well as Externalizing Problems, Depression, Atypicality, Externalizing problems and Adaptability. Veronica needed a great deal of help with her behaviors and emotional state. She tested at-risk in all of these areas or clinically significant.

On page 3, her teacher noted, “that social situations are often strained…she often overreacts and speaks harshly…
p.4 Needs improvement in …practice self-control, express feelings in acceptable ways, follow school and classroom rules…
Fourth grade teacher notes, “At times, she became emotional and her temper was shown. She had some problems socially.”
p.8 “ The teacher rated her within the clinically significant range in the areas of Aggression, and in the at-risk range on hyperactivity and conduct problems…Some of the behaviors that inflated these scales include:…argues when denied her own way, loses temper easily, disobeys; lies; sneaks around;
behaviors of concern noted by teacher…“seems out of touch with reality; acts confused.”
p.13 notes the teacher’s rating scales
2007- Family therapy out-patient on Hwy 4 in Maryland records; receipt from Lusby, MD community center where we paid for her and a friend to take a self-dense class because Veronica said her friends’ step-dad had been abusing her, he wouldn’t allow her to take the class with Veronica.
……………..
to be continued

Ready to take a stand against CPS in North Carolina

Hello, all.
Rochelle here.
I would like to give you an update on where I stand on this.
There is deep anger inside of me at being failed by a system sworn to protect its citizens, where people are supposed to be innocent until proven guilty, and where there is liberty and justice for all. That is far from the truth, and it is happening right under your noses.
Because of my strong faith in a loving God, and an understanding of the purpose of suffering in the lives of humans, I continue on.

After one year of extreme suffering over the loss of my family, my step-children, the trauma induced on my own two children, and the destruction of both my and my husband’s good name, Daniel and I discussed a divorce, for many reasons relating to his more or less life sentencing. After five months of further deliberations and much sadness, we wrote it up through the prison system. That did not change my love for him, it actually has strengthened it, as I have had to deal with so many struggles and pain from being abandoned as a single mom with no income or way to survive after what happened. I learned to rely on God, and had to go through the many stages of grief. As my sons come to terms with the abuse by their step-siblings, and the family’s destruction, they are also having to deal with their own loss of self, as my oldest step son abused him as he had been abused at his mother’s home, and we are not sure yet who all was involved in this sad atrocity.

We were not perfect, but we gave everything we had to raising these children, even with all of the trauma and abuse they came into my home with, and then perpetrated on my own children, as well as the manipulation and trauma and abuse I received from them. I understand suffering much better now, and can love these children who are now young adults, in a much more profound way, tempered by love of an unconditional God and through decades of work as a medicine woman, healer, and in working with the abused.

These past four years since the allegations started have been the most crucial, however. I must admit that the suffering, anguish, loss and poor treatment by professional men and women in many arenas, such as car repair, as landlords, teachers, mental hospital workers for my younger son, the prison officials and guards,  the lawyers both for the defense and the state has taught me a great deal. I have become more calm, patient, understanding, gentle and soft spoken.  I am MUCH more aware of the pain of others than I even thought I was capable of as an empath, and I have a much better understanding of how being an adult with autism, Asperger’s  – deeply affects how I view people and the world. I am much more compassionate towards my own boys with autism’s needs, and work harder than ever to be affectionate, aware and an active listener. When they destroy my things, hit me or cry out, “How can you tell me to love them after what they’ve done to us?” I cry and tell them they must understand that someone did these things to them, as well. Understanding a wrong does make it go away, just a little easier to carry through this life.

The biggest gift that I can share with the world is now being free from fear.

I no longer fear the lawyer with the $100k salary who threatened two already frightened and exhausted parents with the world against them. Nor do I fear the CPS director with the same salary, nor the two people below him who were angry, subjective women with a vendetta against men. I have talked to a few people about taking care of my boys, 12 and almost 14, should something ‘accidental’ happen to me. I’m doing my best to prepare whereas I was taken unawares and unprepared, trusting and naive before.

As a result, I am working to learn all I can about how to file a class action law suit, how to do legal research, and get to the truth of how to fight injustice, especially North Carolina, as that is my true home, and where I spent the majority of my life. I love the mountains of NC, and hope to have a permaculture based school there for special needs’ children. I had just started my Masters in Special Ed when this happened in 2009.

So, if you are someone who has truly been abused by CPS, especially men falsely accused in North Carolina, or you do pro-bono work, or know how to find someone who has knowledge of how to fight this system, please email me at chicanogets113years@gmail.com

If you are someone who feels ashamed, sad, hurt or abused by this system, and just want to talk, I am here.

In the meantime, I wrote a formal grievance to CPS in Guilford County two weeks ago, and I am going to start the research for legal retribution for the wrongs they’ve committed, even if I have to represent Daniel and I by myself. I will no longer rest while reading stories of how poor and middle class people’s families are being destroyed to line others’ pocket books. I will start posting segments of this grievance tonight.

Thank you for all who stop by, and for those who pray for all of us.

For those who are spying on me because you are guilty of destroying my family, I pray for you, as well. My God is the judge in the end, and offers a more lasting consequence than any you could lash upon this tired body.

Blessings and love,

Rochelle, Atsila Agisdii, Fire Eater – One who eats the pain of others