The prison has never addressed my pain post-op

12/27/13 I received your letter, with the grievance and the emails from Congressman Howard Coble, and as well as the Senator Trudy Wade. Your grievance to the Guilford County CPS/DSS was remarkable.

How much pain it must have been to relive our time with them. God must truly be behind this path, for Him to help you endure that torture again, remembering each detail.

I hope you will feel better soon. I continue to pray for your health to improve. For myself, I want so badly to feel whole again. I attempted to exercise Monday, and paid for it, dearly. I began standing toe touches, slowly working down to my toes, only doing 26 at a time.  Along with standing bicycles, with my elbows bending to touch my knees, 25. Also, side bends, with 50 in a set. Then 25 pushups in a set. I ended up with 100 toe touches, 100 standing bicycles, as many push ups and 2oo side bends. Now remember, before this surgery I was doing 1,000 pushups. This morning, I couldn’t even get out of bed without dragging myself along, as my right side hurt so bad. I took ibuprofen all day long. It didn’t stop for three days! So, I am nothing near ‘normal’ for me. The prison has never addressed my issue with pain post-op, and there is still something wrong with my intestines. There seems to be a lump  I can feel with the toe touches.

Your short letter brought me so much joy that you mailed with the second prison complaint follow-up from November. I wept to think how much I mean to you that you would put yourself in front of all these state people for me. Even as you face so much adversity, you continue to encourage me to try harder in here to be heard.

Only God can know my heart, Rochelle. I was never good at words to tell you how much you mean to me.

12/28/13

They woke me up at 6:25 a.m. to tell me I had to pack up, and am moving to D-wing. I only got two hours of sleep from the door slamming, and am exhausted and grouchy. In the new cell, the light is directly overhead, but

the air is not facing me when I sleep! Praise God, it is barely moving in the vent! I will not have to wear all of the extra clothes. There is also a seat now, whereas I had to write while hunched on the edge of my sleep ledge before. I did lose my extra mat to lie on. We sleep on what looks like a kindergarten mat, no mattress.

So, everything you’re writing to these people is starting to get to them here. I trust God will keep improving conditions through you!

I wrote to my case manager, and he answered back saying that my review date for seg has been moved forward to January, instead of waiting until February. There is a chance I may get out of seg by the end of January. Even moving to the close ops would be an improvement!

I know that this false charge has been a way for us to be put in a place to stay still and seek Him for our strength.

Thank you for allowing God to build a better relationship with us, and Him. We have grown so much closer in the past four months, and my own strength and belief is much stronger now.  I miss you so much!

I am reading Wednesday’s paper that I got on Friday today, as I draw each one out so they last through the weekend. this helps me to have some distraction in this new place. I’ve finished the bible study correspondence you sent. I wish I had a longer, harder one. In this new area, I’ve noticed that there are many in here to talk to themselves, even to the point of answering. So, this is where the ones go that have to stay long periods. I was in a revolving door wing, for those with only 40 days or so time.

This is no way to exist. No wonder they crack. God help us all. I now don’t feel alone in my distress.

I simply thought I was weak.

The torture is not something one can fight; it is administered on us day after day.

I am now in a room with very little space to move. The handicap room had 20 more square feet of space.

That is tremendous loss of space! But, I can see the sun through the windows now, and it warms my wall! Praise Him for the small things, always. I don’t have to wear all of those layers, and …I won! I won, I won, 30 stamps! So far no losses with 15 games .

I’ve been trying to clean. Obviously the last one here had some disagreements with the staff of Marion Correctional ICON.

I can’t remember the last night I slept more than two hours. That psychologist needs to stay in here for a few weeks with only two hours of sleep and see if she still calls it ‘normal’. Or maybe more like four months like this.

Now, I can hear a t.v. Can’t see it, but it is such a blessing to at least hear something normal, anything. I can hear the news, and I may be able to even hear the Super Bowl! If I’m still back here, of course.

God has been working through you in such great ways. Rest and follow God’s instructions. I so long to hold you in my arms. You are such an unselfish woman who has allowed her outer self to be broken so that God’s spirit may truly shine for the world to see. Through all of our trials and suffering God breaks the ‘outer self’ so He might shine through on the earth. As we embrace the suffering, and accept the need to surrender, then true work is done!

(Battle of Carchemish) Jeremiah 46 ~ 10 For this is the day of the Lord God of hosts, A day of vengeance, That He may avenge Himself on His adversaries. The sword shall devour; It shall be satiated and made drunk with their blood; For the Lord God of hosts has a sacrifice In the north country by the River Euphrates. 11 “Go up to Gilead and take balm, O virgin, the daughter of Egypt; In vain you will use many medicines; You shall not be cured.

Even if  I have to  be like Jeremiah and proclaim God’s word for 40 years, so be it! You should see me dancing around my room.

I won!

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One stone can change the world

12/12/13
david-and-goliath

Someone must be reading my grievances; yesterday I noticed that the air was warmer while still blowing with so much force. They must have raised the temp just a few degrees, which makes a big difference for us.

God spoke to me while I was listening to a preacher speak about David and Goliath, and it came to me that often-heard story is meant as to explain the coming of Christ; that Jesus was the stone in David’s sling that would defeat sin. David didn’t worry about manmade armor or a large weapon; his only concern was the protection of his people against an enemy. Even as Saul’s men trembled, David went to the stream bed and picked out a perfect assortment of rocks. They laughed at this young man, standing confident with no armor or expensive gear; just a simple peasant. But, David’s faith was so strong that he let God lead his arm, so that the stone brought him down, and David cut of Goliath’s head with his own sword.

See how this is Christ coming to change the world? He came to do away with sin that has separated us from our heavenly Father. God was showing the world that one stone can change the world.

Don’t be afraid to praise God! Rejoice in the Lord and proclaim His work to all. Yes, we all fail at times, but draw on the strength of God. My heart was hardened with so many years of abuse, but in His light, you always shined! God knew it would take a strong woman to break me down for Him to begin working on me! Praise God! Let others know that it is Jesus’ love for them; to have hope – many have suffered but you are not alone! We have to take it on faith! Even in such a place as this I can love the Lord! I feel secure in God’s hands, something I’ve never felt before. He will never make us come to Him.
I just want to convey my joy in God to be released from bondage that I alone had put myself in, as sin no longer controls me. Know the Lord is with you! With faith are we made free!

I will never stop loving them…

at a summer equine camp for kids with behavior needs in 2001 where we both volunteered so the older kids could get some therapy and socialization.

at a summer equine camp for kids with behavior needs in 2001 where we both volunteered so the older kids could get some therapy and socialization.

daniel

on a summer trip to Philly with the two youngest, in 2007

12/5/13

I wish sometimes that I could write my three other children, who are now young adults, at 20, 18 and 16.

I think you’ve kept the pictures we had taken over the years, and Nicholas’ baby cap from 1997; one of the few things I was ever given of their lives.  I tried to send letters to them via dad, but Kay (his wife) wrote me an angry letter saying not to send anything there. I still think of them every day.

The first thing I would tell them is that I do still love them. Very much. No matter what has happened, I will never stop loving them. I wonder if they are happy. What has happened in their lives since then? Did they stay in school and achieve any accomplishments, play any sports or participate in activities, travel? It would just be a pleasure to hear their voices and to see them again, to know what they’ve become or done. I would listen to their anger or sadness, joys or pains – just to hear them again. I think of all six of you, every day. Don’t think that there has been a day that I haven’t…

Yes, I miss being beside you

missing-someone11/17/13
Dear Shel,
Losing your wallet was God’s way of telling you to slow down. You can’t hear God’s voice when rushing

all over the place. You seem to find peace when you draw, and God’s gift of art comes through.
Be sure to get some rest. You always get cranky when you don’t. You always possessed so much strength, courage, and persistence. Now, work on consistency and stability. These ‘scars’ have made you stronger and smarter. I’ve never really known you to be afraid. Even as you gave birth to our first child, you just seemed confused as how to get him out! God is by your side, helping you with the task at hand, so gain strength knowing He is there!

No, I haven’t been able to order any food from canteen since September 18, mom’s birthday. What they feed me here in isolation isn’t near enough for a grown man, but I just keep going, doing my best not to think about the hunger pains. I will work on getting more coffee, , but for now have a piece of bread and some applesauce and a few apples for later.

I miss being beside you at night. You would always keep me so warm that I would have to come out of the covers; sometimes you would steal them all…
Yes, I agree that this is such a waste of precious time when we could be together, with our boys, doing things in the world to make a difference. It is also a way, though, for us to cling to each other through these trials, to see the true value of each other as individuals, and as a unit. God works in mysterious ways! We must each learn at our own pace, and God is patient with us. It will work according to his plan!

I ponder hours on our reunion. That’s all I will say. Reading what you write make it so real for me in a place where there is no touching, feeling, smelling or holding another. It makes one become less than human. ..you’ve always been a beautiful woman; I was always proud to be your husband. You have a glow about you. It makes this place seem less cold when you visit, even behind the concrete and glass.

There’s No One but God to ask for help in here

 KJV Exodus 23:25.  And ye shall serve the LORD your God, and he shall bless thy bread, and thy water; and I will take sickness away from the midst of thee.  - King James Bible

KJV Exodus 23:25.
And ye shall serve the LORD your God, and he shall bless thy bread, and thy water; and I will take sickness away from the midst of thee.
– King James Bible

11-2-13

I love the way your letters smell! (Do I tell you this every time?)
These lights are very bright; get woken up every day, the same time, with lights burning on and time for feed (4:30). I hate the way they turn these lights on, and then off(10 p.m.)
It has been cold today. I wish I could get a shirt jacket. They don’t want to give or do anything to help us. at all. I’m even wearing two shirts, two pairs of socks, and pants. I’ve felt down all day due to this coldness.
I’m trying to find a way to get some Q-tips, ink pens, and Lever 2000 soap. That means I have to look for someone who has just come into seg before they see the DHO. Then, I will also have to buy it. The little state bar they give us doesn’t really work, and makes my whole body break out.

When we ‘fish’ and it is far away, we have to work together to get it from one place to another. Then when they get back to regular population, it’s each for himself.

11/3/13

I finished writing both of the boys a letter. I worry about how you are holding it together, and if they will have to be sent away. They have been through so much, and are holding it together as good as they can, but they could straighten up a lot of their behavior.

It is still sooo cold, but mainly my feet, even with two pairs of socks. I wish I could figure it out; it’s not like me to not be able to get warm.

11/14/13

I’ve not been well in mind.  I thought I was just being depressed, but at day 75, I am slowly losing my feel on things.

I have to get closer to God, strengthen my relationship with Him so I can hear Him speak. I think now that I am being attacked to keep that from happening. Just as Daniel prayed and fasted for 20 days before the archangel Michael was able to break through to deliver God’s message to him.

The nurse came today, along with the doctor. They came because I wrote a request form for more Ibuprofen because of the pain. He looked at my incision and said it was healing well. He asked me where it hurt, and was poking around and he just said that sometimes nerves are hit and it takes longer to heal. He’s going to prescribe some more pain medicine, like Advil. I asked him why I was staying so cold; I explained that I’d never had this feeling before I lost all of the blood after surgery. He said he would have my blood looked at to see if I was anemic. Sounds like they already knew that’s what had happened, but they just weren’t going to do anything about it.

I’ve asked for vitamins because I feel so lethargic. I just don’t feel like myself. I miss you so much. It makes me cry. The loneliness is starting to really think in. I guess. Louvonda wrote me a letter and said my package request was rejected, and they sent her back her money. The lawyer has called her to say that the investigator was sick, and that was why he wasn’t reporting anything back.

I still haven’t received anything for the pain, and I have the shakes and my head pounds. Don’t know what is going on, maybe I have a fever. I only have God to ask for help…

Work with What you Have, Thanking God for it

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." 1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”
1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV

10/29/13

It was so great to get a card from you today. The letters from the boys were great!

I really need to hear from you and the boys. I so miss their personalities; being apart has brought much sadness to my soul. They have helped me to grow and I hate I had to be apart from everyone to understand this!

The Chaplain came to see me, and he couldn’t believe how long I would be in here. He seemed very concerned. Jesus i with me, so I will just do the best I can with it all. I’ve learned so much about how closed off I’ve become with people, even in my Christian fellowship. I’m now ready to embrace each person without shame, as God taught us to do; to have faith in God.

10/30/13

Your visit was just what I needed, even with so many distractions around us. You were able to communicate what you wanted. Your love means so much to me, especially in isolation. I thought it was bad in population; not even close. My wound really started to hurt after you left.  began to burn and ache deep inside. It still hurts even now, at 10 p.m. It fills my heart to know just how much love you send me each day. Thank you so much!

When doing all of the grievances and writing, just do it as you are able. I think you are doing too much. And, it will burn you out. So, pace yourself and allow God to create the timing. Let the words flow like the living water of Jesus; to push things will only bring frustration. You’re doing a great job, so please know that I appreciate it very much!

I’ve put in a sick call for vitamins and fish oil, as I can no longer buy them.

11/1/13

I’ve got to stop all of the negative thinking. It’s hard to stay positive with so much that is ugly around you. The negative vibes never stop coming. You can only ignore so much. I got my wallet today, three weeks later, and she didn’t order my package until 10/24, so most likely I won’t be allowed to get it.

I didn’t write any yesterday, as I was all out of whack. The operation site seems to hurt more and more every night. During the day it doesn’t hurt as badly. I did get all of my newspapers this week. I’m reading everything you send, trying to learn as much as I can. I would love to take some English courses for grammar; as my spelling sucks! lol…

Last night it hurt so bad inside that it felt like something was being pulled out of me. But it didn’t hurt today. The pain comes and goes and it doesn’t make sense.

You really seem to have a clearer idea of how you want to proceed. Something has changed in you; there is so much confidence! You are evolving, and I love you so much! I know I was angry alot in our marriage. Hell, most of the time, I didn’t know why…I didn’t feel appreciated, I guess, like I had to do everything or it wouldn’t get done. But, you were having a hard time with your condition (Asperger’s) handling all of the things that were being thrown at you. You needed a man to support you as the head of the house, and I often acted as a child. You needed a man to help you with what you were going through, one to stand by you, working together to solve the household problems. You deserved better of me and some days I did better, but others were bad.

11/2/13

We both had to learn on the go, and I never had a good role model. I knew I wanted to do better than my family had done. But, to be honest, I don’t think I did a very good job. I tried to hard to give my family a better life, as poverty isn’t a great place. We were trying so hard, I believe we forgot where we came from. Now, we are both in poverty. I believe we both had to go back to this situation to better understand how just how hard it was for our parents to make ends meet. Until we can feel and understand that again, and learn to make due with what we have, and make it last, we won’t receive more.

So, work with what you have, thanking God for it, and He will give us more as we learn to handle these trials. I can see this working even now, more clearly in your life. Continue asking for guidance and follow His direction. Things are improving in God’s time, not ours…

 

Letter to the Office of Executive Clemency of North Carolina, Pat McCrory

YOU COULD MAKE A DIFFERENCE SO AN INNOCENT MAN DOESN’T DIE FROM MEDICAL NEGLECT WHILE IN PRISON – PLEASE READ
please email your support to our cause here – clemency@nc.gov
 Dear Gov. McCrory,

You have the power to save my husband from abuse and torture, medical neglect, and possible death of a wrongly accused American citizen.

The innocent often do not have a voice, and we need assistance, as what has been happening at Marion Correctional in Marion, North Carolina has gone silent long enough. My husband could die.

My husband has recently had a surgery that was bare minimum in its procedure and consequent care, in isolation in a prison where he does not belong.

I am afraid that he now has an internal infection where the huge 5″ incision was performed and has closed the infection inside. He has not been allowed to bathe daily, and had no way to clean his wounds or to care for himself properly since the surgery on October 15. He gets subgrade food that is not nourishing him, and he almost died on the day of the surgery.

I am writing a formal complaint that will be emailed today to several House of Representatives, as well as to the DOC in Raleigh, and to other government officials. He could die under these conditions, as it has been almost six weeks (Oct.15 surgery) and he has symptoms that would indicate that he has an internal infection that could lead to his becoming septic.

He almost died the same day as the surgery, as he stood in handcuffs on his arms and ankles not even 10 hours after the surgery to relieve himself, and the guards would not even allow him to sit on the toilet, but he had to stand, shackled. As a result from the strain, he began to bleed continuously. By a miracle of God, as doctor and nurses could not stop it, the blood pouring out of his body stopped.

He wasn’t even allowed an overnight stay for observation. He has received no further medical assistance to help him heal , such as extra or special food rations, ability to receive vitamin or other supplements for possible anemia, etc. He cannot even sit in the sun to get much needed fresh air and healing from the effects of the sun.

Please understand that the doctor at Marion, as well as his assistant have been recently ‘moved’ due to this type of medical neglect. There is also an inmate currently whose incision was reopened due to his hernia becoming infected, and he had to be internally cleansed from the lack of care. 

Daniel was wrongfully imprisoned in 2011 in Guilford County, with no evidence against him, a threatened jury, and I was not allowed to testify on his behalf, as they threatened to throw me in jail if I did, and we have two autistic boys, as well as my 85 year old mother, and there would be no one left to care for them. The jury was threatened by Judge Stewart Albright, after three days of deliberation where they could not come to a unanimous guilty verdict.

It was a hung jury, yet on that Friday in January 2011, he brought in the jury after lunch, at 1:15pm and screamed at this panel of older, tired people, threatening to keep them there indefinitely if they did not make a unanimous finding.

At 3:30 pm they walked in and found my husband guilty of 13 counts of sexual related felonies, and 10 years a piece, railroading his sentence into 130 years, with NO evidence, no forensic expertfor the defense, and no testimony from myself, with all of the records of therapy for my step kids, how his ex wife left the youngest son on our doorstep, saying we could ‘have’ him, and the signs she had groomed the oldest step son, if he was not also molested by her boyfriend, as well. This same child, now 20, had sexually molested both my boys. We had tried to get him hsopitalized, but there were no beds at the time I first suspected the sexual abuse, and we were on a waiting list with intensive in home mental services.

My testimony would have ruined Assistant DA Maury A. Hubbard’s case against Daniel Sr. Our story has yet to be told, but I am working diligently, but his health issues have put a stop to that for now.

My mother’s family, as well as us, have lived in Alamance County or Guilford for many decades, my mother was born in Alamance County. I am a third generation graduate of Elon College, and was a Dean’s List Student. We are hard working American citizens who always paid our taxes and tried to make a difference in the world.

You can be a voice for the innocent where it has been silenced by these District 18 officials. They falsely ruined my career as a day care administrator, and our families, putting children back in the presence of a perpetrator, if not two.

Wake Forest Innocence Clinic has been preparing Daniel’s case this year to see what can be done to get him out and clear his name, and our reputations.

I am asking all those I email and mail to call to the Marion Correctional Center or better yet, to the Raleigh branch of the DOC, Mr. Solomon’s office, the director, to ask that my husband be allowed to :

  • be transported to see Dr. Cope in Burlington, NC for  unbiased, third party review and possible care plan,
  • that his A charges be dropped, as the isolation  sentence is a farce and created just as punishment as he and five others  were being brave enough to beg for HVAC repair when there was no air all  week in their unit while the rest of the prison had air for most of the  week of Aug.31,
  • and since he has now served 84 days of isolation  from his peers in both admin seg and now ICON total – both are isolation ,  that his abuse and torture be stopped.
  • that you use your wisdom as governor to use your  executive power As the Governor of NC, to look over my complete documents,  and to see the racial discrimination, the profiling, the prosecutorial  misconduct by Mr. Hubbard, as well as the purposeful breach to a fair trial that Judge Albright commited by allowing Mr. Hubbard III to commit     such unconstitutional acts, as can be shown by reading the 16 page     grievance to the State Bar that they have not ruled on yet. It is quite     forthcoming. He was not allowed an unbiased set of peers, as there were NO  Mexican Americans on the jury, either.

The first Amendment breach was so crucial to the false imprisonment being allowed to take place to Daniel.

A right to jury trial is granted to criminal defendants in order to prevent oppression by the Government. Those who wrote our constitutions knew from history and experience that it was necessary to protect against unfounded criminal charges brought to eliminate enemies and against judges too responsive to the voice of higher authority. The framers of the constitutions strove to create an independent judiciary but insisted upon further protection against arbitrary action. Providing an accused with the right to be tried by a jury of his peers gave him an inestimable safeguard against the corrupt overzealous prosecutor and against the compliant, biased, or eccentric judge. . . . [T]he jury trial provisions . . . reflect a fundamental decision about the exercise of official power–a reluctance to entrust plenary powers over the life and liberty of the citizen to one judge or to a group of judges. Fear of unchecked power . . . found expression in the criminal law in this insistence upon community participation in the determination of guilt or innocence.”48 – See more at:http://constitution.findlaw.com/amendment6/annotation04.html#sthash.2Wt7XyiO.dpuf

What our forefathers strove to prevent by creating this priceless amendment was carelessly trampled on by both Judge Albright who allowed the fiasco and encouraged the abuse, by Maury Hubbard III, who completely abandoned his code of ethics at the courthouse door, and to Sabrina Bailey, who allowed my husband to not recieve adequate counsel.

Looking at the false ICON charges:

The UN states that 30 days constitutes torture. He only feels fresh air or the sun once a week. He gets no extra food for a period of seventeen hours each day  as that is when they feed them supper, at 330 pm –  until 530 am the next morning, when they are served breakfast . They are not allowed to purchase any food as additional punishment, nor are they allowed to bathe daily, and cannot even purchase toothpaste. If they are allowed an hour of outside time once a week, they are lucky.

This clearly a breach of the 8th amendment, and something must be done to stop this treatment to an American born, formerly tax paying citizen (26%), who worked hard his entire life, living in North Carolina from age 7, having moved from Chicago.

I have an entire grievance, as well as a formal complaint discussing both issues in full- medical neglect and unconstitutionality of his isolation sentence, that will be emailed to you today, as soon as I transfer it from paper to computer.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

My husband created the mix that covered most of the good highway roads in Guilford and Alamance County, working for APAC, and building the plant on 421 with only a high school education. He is a very smart, hard working Mexican American citizen.

I will send this story to every newspaper, representative of legislature, and non profit I can find over the next week until someone listens. Please do not let an innocent man die from neglect and torture, as he will die there if someone doesn’t help us soon.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.

Rochelle Long, power of attorney for Daniel Palacios, opus #1248101