11/14/13

Dear Love,

I have not been well in mind.  I thought I was being somewhat depressed, and starting reading a book from another

inmate who said he didn’t feel he could be good enough to be a Christian, but knew that I was by my actions.

“Opening the Gates of Heaven”, by Perry Stone talks of ways to pray, send healing, talk to God, and also how to hear God.

But, I have to find ways to get closer, to strengthen my relationship with God to hear Him better.

Thank you for your letters, they are so encouraging. I just truly haven’t felt good.

11/16/13

The swelling seems to have gone down some, but something just isn’t right about this pain. IT comes and goes in waves. I  signed up to see the surgeon this week, and will have to endure being chained and shackled from 3-5 hours, depending on how many others go through there that day.

I have now finished “Opening the Gates of Heaven”, which was really well written. It helped me to understand how our prayers are only fruitful when coming from a pure heart, and not asking for lustful things of the flesh. So,  have often prayed in the wrong ways…I have picked up the book by Watchman Nee that you sent, “A Normal Christian Life”. It speaks so clearly. The first chapter explains the power of Christ’s blood; no matter how hard Satan tries to make us think we are too full of sin for forgiveness, all of us are covered, and stand in the light with God because of Christ’s blood being shed for us. Therefore, NO sin is hidden, and Satan has nothing to hold over our heads. As we are in the Light with God if we choose to be there, then the blood of Jesus Christ has rendered us clean to stand before Him. He says, “Christ is the sum total of humanity; as the second Man he is the head of a new race.”

This opened up understanding for me in such a powerful way. Before this,  had allowed Satan a foothold in my life by listening or thinking that I would never be good enough for God to accept me. The truth is that I’ve already been accepted, and to use Jesus as a way to ward off these attacks. I have been redeemed!

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