Getting Drunk is not a mating call, men – single men, take note

10/7/13

Dear Chicano,

I am going to start sending you some random posts to comment on that I find interesting and timely,

men, women, relationships

Men, they REALLY want you to get ‘it’ – intimacy first…

because you have so much wisdom hiding behind those big, brown eyes.

I also want to help keep you sane while being locked away in your little egg,

as I will refer to your seg cell from now on. I think if we refer to these horrors

with a more positive energy, then we can begin to transmute some of the punitive aspects of being wrongly imprisioned, and turn this into a wonderful teaching opportunity.

I feel that we have an obligation to ‘pay it forward’ to humanity, to take this as an opportunity instead of a disaster. So, I look forward to your replies to some of these things, even though I don’t like being vulnerable when you use our relationship as examples, I know that the only way to make a true difference is to be ‘real’.

Too many ‘Christians’ do not understand that when a person comes to you asking for food when they are starving that we need to do that, give them food, feed their souls with kindness and support, instead of giving them cruel words or turning them away with a scorpion, back into the darkness.

So, here is response number 1…

Thoughts from a Chicano man who loves women…

(this is a discussion on drinking in a bar, and then bringing home or going home with a lady…if you were my son…)

******

I would like to say that I appreciate your candor.

It is obvious that you are working towards understanding men/women to be a better man.

That is the first step. As a man in his forties, I would like to give you a key bit of advice, it that’s OK,

as you seem to be asking the universe for direction here…

the incident above where the lady gave you a ‘hand job’ could have been a much better scene had you been more in tune.

This is a key disfunction of most men. There is a complete lack of communication due to a lack of intimacy. Before we jump in the sack with a woman, if you want it to mean something, you have to be in tune to her body.

She asked you to stop, yet you didn’t, which tells me that you use drinking as an excuse to do what you want, or to attempt to do what you want with women. This is why you feel “like a creep” afterwards.

The fact that she allowed you to come home with her suggested that she was interested; however, you did not take the time to tune in to her needs, so she was obviously turned off. She was smart enough to keep herself from a possible rape scenario by ‘performing’ in a way that would keep her ‘safe’, as you were obviously not making her feel that way.

I see this a lot in younger men, and the issue here is ‘wanting’ a woman, not really ‘looking for’ a woman. This causes a great deal of distress for today’s single woman, because men do not ‘see’ the true value of a woman beyond a hook up.

Women are worth so much more,  repeat,

WOMEN ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE,

and I think, once you begin to understand, if you choose to, your own value, and raise your own self esteem, you will then be able to treat women with dignity, and then have much better sexual experiences all around.

In other words, you are only treating women with the same care you have for yourself.

Something to think about…

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