Letters from Seg, 2

9-7-2013

Well, another wonderful God given day, praise God!

i slept longer today because the guy next to me got his write up around 11 p.m. and he worked in the kitchen. Ms. ‘X’ wrote him up for talking too loud from inside the kitchen to the dining hall. And, also for yelling at her. She said he “brushed up against her and then continued to argue with her.” And the Sgt. that brought the write up said that because he “brushed up” against her that was considered assault. So he was up worrying about that and talking to other inmates about it. Can you beleive? they said that was ‘assault’? They will charge him with what’s called an “A” charge, what they are charging me with is a “C3”. The lower the letter the lesser the charge.

I pray they give me medium s this month. I’ll find out when I get out of here. I need to know what medium camp would work best for everyone. I’m going to tell them  ‘x’, but I hear it has a two year wait list. Keith told me the other day, and he got his medium s and he is going to ‘x’ where you used to live. There is only one other medium, but that is too far for you to get to. I’m going to ask about some different schools like welding, masonry, woodworking, and mechanics.

I hope you don’t try to come see me right now. Because it will be behind glass. And, I will have on hand cuffs, I think.

isolation, lost love, faith, hope, relationships

I’ve tried to hold back my feelings back for fear that you have found another. My heart breaks for you every day along with mine towards you. I do love you with all my heart. And i miss you so, so much. You skin, smell, your hair tickling my nose, your warmth, your heart beat. There’s so much more that I keep tearing up. It’s so hard to talk about. Really, just knowing that someone else could fill in so easily, another person, who has NO idea what you are truly like, like I do.

That’s why I don’t talk about it, it hurts so much.

They just fed us and I’ve noticed that since I said something earlier, that the trays are starting to have more food.

I know that I never thanked you for the pics, but thanks, they mean so much to be able to see you, the boys, and the others, also. I still laugh every time I see C, I’ve never seen her with a wig. My cousin sent me some pics, too, and there was one with mom and me at our family reunion in 1999. We were together at the time, but you weren’t there. Most likely you were at work. Mom looked so happy. She loved family, but never felt connected to them.

She, as well as I needed family, but we could never seem to fit in. I’ve been telling my cousin about how dad is because she only knows what he wants them to know, which isn’t the true him.

I told her that I called dad on Aug.21, and talked to him, but it seemed as though he didn’t really want to talk. I told her that I told dad I had been out of money and he said he couldn’t give me any more. She couldn’t believe that he would do that. I’ve also been telling her that dad only looks out for himself.

She sent me some money and I received it yesterday and she said she was sorry that dad didn’t support me more, that he should know I would need help from time to time. Oh, I also told her that if I hadn’t called dad in January he would never have come to see me at all.

I know you’re very bored of hearing about dad. And you know, so am I. I’ve decided not to call him anymore. He said he would come Aug. 27, but he never showed. So, if he wants to see me then that’s when we will talk.

Your garden pics looked so good! I do miss putting my hands in the dirt. And then watching the seems crack the top of the mounds and push up through. Or watching the tomatoes go from flowers to small tomatoes. You do such a good job of taking nothing and making something. I wouldn’t worry so much about canning, just work with what God has given you and he will provide more later. For, he is a faithful God.

I want you to know I love you VERY much!!!

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